8 months
by MyCrAzyWorld
Summary: NEW ENDING POSTED Ok Tommy's been gone 8 months and he's coming back to GMajor. It takes place after Date with the Night. He's in for a surprise!
1. looking back and looking forward

Ok this is my first ever story on Fanfiction or anywhere so just work with me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or any of the characters.

Background info: This is in Tommy's point of view...It's after Date with the Night and Tommy did leave.

"I'm leaving Jude, and I don't know if I'll be coming back."

Those were his final words to her before he left for some tiny town, in the middle of no where Montana. He didn't explain or elaborate on anything. Now thinking back he wishes he would've at least stopped and told her his brother was dead and his neice was an orphan, or maybe he could have told her that it's not her fault he's leaving and to not worry.

But he didn't and now he is returning to Toronto and G-Major. He's coming back to the life he has wanted since dropping out of school in the 7th grade. But most importantly he's coming back to the person that he loves most in the world. He's coming back and hoping that she is willing to trust in him again like she was back on her 17th birthday.

He knew it wouldn't be easy for her to trust him again. He knew that when he saw her again that he might want body armor. Because there is no way Jude Harrison will open her arms to me after 8 months without a word. No if anything she'll probably wind up and give me one of her right hooks that she was dying to use on Eden at the charity event a couple of years back, the one that my good ol' buddy Chaz tricked both Jude and I into.

Tommy knew he should probably be worried about Judes' reaction to seeing him again, but he couldn't. He was just excited to be able to see her and touch, to be able to hold her. He has been gone 8 months without talking to her. 8 months of him playing replaying her hundreds of messages she left him, just so he could hear her voice.

He knew it was his own fault the he didn't talk to her. It's just he didn't want to put his family in the spot light while they were all trying to deal with the loss of his brother Andrew. Which is exactly what would've happened if he had stayed in contact with anyone from G-Major.

So now here he was 10 feet outside G-Major and he was trying sooo hard to keep his cool before walking in and see everyone again. He knew they all would have questions. D would probably laugh in his face and ask him what he was doing back. Kwest would probably pull him into a hug and tell him it's been to long. Liam wouldn't probably even care. He's sure that Speed and SME would protest his return and demand they stick with Kwest as there producer. And Jude. She would probably yell and scream and pitch a fit, but in the end come up with another hit song, like always.

Yes 8 months out of G-Major and it feels great to be back.

Now if only he would've been ready for the surprises he got not even 5 minutes later.


	2. surprise!

Thank you to all that did review it means so much to me! I'm going to go ahead and continue with the story because not only does it seem like people like it but because I kind of got some ideas for it. The story is going to start out a little sad and with a few big shockers but trust me not everything is as it seems! So stick with me and I hope you won't be dissapointed! Thanks so much again

Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the characters just this story.

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Walking into G-Major Tom did not see what he expected. In fact it looked almost sad and empty. There was no Sadie at the reception desk or even a phone ringing in the background. Tom walks to the reception desk and looks around and he realizes whats missing. Theres no SME or Jude laying around on one of the couches or trying to find something to eat from the fridge. He also doesn't see Jamie or Patsy sitting around doing whatever Liam has asked them to do.

Just when he was getting worried he realizes that it's a Thursday and D is probably making everyone work real hard on something or another, and obviously they're listening. On his way to Darius's office Tom hears noises from studio 1 and decides to check it out. Maybe he'll be able to see what Jude is cooking up for her next album.

Walking into studio 1 Tom sees Kwest at the soundboard and Mason is sitting in the chair next to him. They both have their headphones on listening to something and they didn't hear Tom enter. He sits in the doorway a second and decided that Kwest and Mason would be the first to know he's returned.

"Knock knock! Is anyone there?" Tom loudly says while tapping Mason and Kwest on the shoulder. They both turn and it took them a second to let it sink in that he was back and it wasn't there imagination.

"Tom!" Kwest shouts then jumping up from his seat and pulling him into a hug. "Thank god you're back man things have been crazy since...well for awhile."

"Tom, it's good to see you again" Mason says putting his hand out for a shake. Tom overlooking the hand pulls him into a quick hug.

"I've been gone 8 months Mason, I think I get more than a handshake" Tom says laughing.

"Yeah well a lots happened these 8 months man. Where have you been?" Kwest asks sitting down and pulling up a seat for Tommy to take.

"I had some family issues to take care of." Tommy states plainly, while saying in not so many words that he doesn't want to talk about it. "So where's Jude? I figured she would be here making her next album. Or at least here writing and waiting for Liam and D to let her record again." At the sound of Judes' name Mason jumps up mumbling some excuse about a meeting with Portia and tells Kwest he'll be back later to work some more.

"Yeah Tom bout Jude..." Kwest says while looking anywhere but at Tommy. But all of a sudden like out of thin air you hear from the doorway.

"What the hell is he doing back Kwest!" Speiderman yells while giving Tommy a death glare. Kwest jumps up and pulls Speed out of the doorway pushing the door, but not getting it to click shut.

"Hey listen man calm down he doesn't know yet! Just chill, he doesn't need to be yelled at, specially by you of all people." Kwest says grabbing hold of Speed's arms to keep him from charging into the studio.

"No! He leaves her without a reason and no return date! He leaves her here all alone making her an empty shell of a person! Like she was dead before actually dying" Speed is still yelling, but visibly losing steam, it looks like he's beginning to cry even. "He didn't care how his leaving would effect her or anyone for that matter and obviously didn't care enough to even call after everything. So why now does he find it's time for him to come back and expect us to open our arms to him and welcome him back?" Speed says.

Kwest who is still holding his arms, though now it looks like he's holding him up instead of back says "He doesn't know man. He knows nothing and he doesn't need to hear it like this from you." As Kwest and Speed were arguing Sadie had returned from her lunch break and had come in to the final sentences of Speeds yelling.

"Hey guys! Who's back?" Sadie says while looking from Kwest to Speiderman and thats when she sees Tommy in the doorway. "Tommy! Is that you? Are you really here!" Sadie says while running into his arms and squeezes him like she's making sure he's real. "OMG after all this time you're back!"

"Sadie, how can you just welcome him home like that! Don't you remember what he did?" Speed asks pulling her away from Tommy. "Don't you remember what he did to Jude?"

"Speed, like Kwest said, Tommy doesn't know. He couldn't have known. And it's not completely his fault for what happened." Sadie says walking up to Kwest and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "He doesn't know yet does he?" Sadie asks.

"OK what the hell is going on! Why is Speed freaking out and blaming me for something! What happened? Did Jude quit singing? Stop writing? Because if so I can get her back to her normal self. That's if she'll still talk to me."

"Well Tommy I think you should sit down." Sadie says taking his arm and pushing him down on to the couch.

What's going on guys. It can't be that bad!"

"Well it is T. Jude's dead." Darius says from the doorway. He had watched the whole thing go down and he knew that the way Kwest and Sadie were trying to tell him would never work, for Tommy easing into it would never work. With Tommy you should treat it him like a band aid, one smooth pull and then he can start to heal. But how Tommy or the rest of the people at G-Major would heal he never knew.

"D you've got to be kidding. Is this Jude's idea of a joke for me when I came back because it's not funny." Tommy says with an uneasy laugh while looking from Kwest to Sadie.

"No man I wish it were" Kwest says

"Yeah she's dead! She died and it's all you fault! You left her here all alone and she first died emotionaly and then weeks later she died physically." Speed says before breaking down and punching Tommy right in the face. The scene that followed was Darius and Kwest pulling Speed back while Sadie went to Tommy's side to see if he was alright.

Tommy didn't really care. He felt like he was dying. The air had gone out of the room with Speed's last words and his punch just seemed to seal this feeling Tommy got before he did something he hasn't done since he got drunk for the first time, he blacked out.

The world and life Tommy cared for was over. It died with Jude. He just didn't realize it till now.

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Ok ok I know you all probably want to kill me right now. Please don't! I promise you'll like where this is going! I hope to have a new chapter up by Thursday! So review and let me know how I'm doing!


	3. Hate me

Hey everyone! I'm back and it's still only Tuesday! I know I said Thursday, but you all seemed to want me to post so soon that I got some time in today and I this chapter is the result. I Hope you enjoy it and THANK YOU to all that review, it means so much to me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the Characters.

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Tommy woke up later to find that he was in Darius; office. Sitting up he sees D at his desk on the phone.

"Hey yeah listen, I've gotta go. Just remember what I said. This is all for the best. Yes I'll talk to you later." Hanging up Darius turns to Tommy "So Tom, how are you doing man?"

"Darius it can't be true. There must be some sort of mistake. How could she be dead, she was only 18!"

"Well T I wish it were, but it's not." Darius says coming around his desk to sit in the chair across from Tommy. "After you left man things got a little bit crazy around here. At first Jude acted as if her world was over and ditched her release party to go see Mason on his tour in Berry. She did come back with Jamie, but part of her was still not here. It took her a month to finally get her heart back into writing and singing. She was moving on and just when she was getting back into her normal routine it happened."

"What happened? When did she...how long has...?" Tommy just couldn't finish that sentence. He didn't want to.

"It's been about four months now. She was on her way home from a meeting and she must have lost control of her car." At that Tommy looks up and Darius quickly finished. "They found her and the car on the side of the road, the drivers side was smashed in by the trees."

"Four months. So then she didn't even get to see her 18th birthday. Why didn't I her about this! Why didn't anyon tell me!" Tommy says standing up and walking out of Darius' office.

"Because nobody knew where you were or how to get ahold of you. And this isn't the type of news you leave on a voicemail." Darius says following Tom into the lounge where Kwest, Sadie, Jamie and Patsy were sitting. "Where's Speed at?" Darius asks the group.

"I sent him home, which means he probably went to the Chrome Cat instead." Kwest says.

At the sound of his and Jude's place Tommy finally comes out of his daze. "How do you guys know about that? Why would he be there?"

"Tommy the Chrome Cat is...Was Judes building. She bought the whole building and turned the basement into an apartment for her." Sadie says pulling him down on to the couch. "After mom put the house up dad couldn't afford it. He told us the we could move in with him and Yvette. Jude was so upset that when she came to dad about buying the building he couldn't say no." Sadie looks back at Kwest and says "So I moved in with Kwest, Jude moved into the Chrome Cat and she seemed better."

"Yeah man, she said that that was where she was happiest and the closest to you. She kept the top floor for her, SME and any other singers willing to pat that need the rehearsal space. She was making it work, she said she had to." Kwest says.

"So why didn't anyone call me? You've all known about this for months and yet I hear about it now!" Tommy says looking Darius in the eye. But he wasn't the one to answer, Jamie was.

"How were we suppose to tell you! Call the phone which never gets answered? Drive to a place that we don't know and knock on your door? Everyone had tried to get ahold of you for months, but we all failed. Jude finally was the last to give up. Then after she died we didn't even bother trying." Looking over at Patsy he finishes "We were to busy trying to keep going, like Jude would've wanted."

Tommy just can't understand how the person that meant everything has been dead for four months and he was just now finding out.

"I don't care what Jude wanted, I can I please just deck him!" Patsy says cracking her knuckles.

"No Jude didn't want us to hate Tommy. She never did and so we should respect that."

"What are you two talking about?" Tommy asks looking from Patsy to Sadie.

"Jude told us that she could never hate you for leaving and that we couldn't either. She said that you left for a reason and we couldn't blame you. No matter how badly you broke her, she still seemed to find the best in you." Jamie says looking at Tommy and then down at the ground.

"Well that doesn't matter anymore. Because the best in me was what Jude brought out. I'm nothing now and you all deserve to hate me."

And with that Tommy got up and walked out of G-Major leaving everyone wondering when and if they'll ever see him again.

"We could never hate him." Sadie says watching Tommy leave.

And they all sat there wondering what would come next.

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Ok this chapter isn't one of my favorites and it's not very action packed but it needed to be. I'm going to try and post some more but I have to work the next couple of days so it might be a day or so. So pleaze review and let me know how I'm doing. Thanks again!


	4. She loved you

OK here it is, the next chapter. I know it seems like a lot of Tommy, but I promise the story is more than just him! It's just the beginning! So I hope you enjoy this next chapter, because it was really hard to write. I'm just worried that I'm not getting Tommy's character right so I'm being really hard on myself and triple checking Everything. But anyways...Thanks SOO much to those of you who are reviewing...it means so much to me that you all like the story and are reviewing. And a special thanks to my sister Sara, you have been so helpful, letting me just bounce ideas off you, so just Thank you again to everyone!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.

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Tommy hops into his viper and doesn't look back and isn't quite sure where forward is going to take him. He knows that everyone thinks he's probably going to run again, after all thats all he has ever really been good at. He ran from school to join Boyz Attack. He ran away from Boyz Attack to start his own career which he then ran from to be a producer. Finally he ran from that and Jude to where ever he was right now.

He just doesn't know what to do with himself and he's doing everything in his power to just keep his mind on the road.

20 some minutes later

Tommy pulls up in front of the Chrome Cat and puts the car into park. He didn't really know how he ended up here, but since he was why not see what Jude had done to the place.

From the outside it still looked like the broken down dump that it was when she first rented the rehearsal space. Which didn't surprise him. Jude had always been the type to not judge a book by it's cover and hated people who did. So of course she would keep the building the same, because she wanted people to value what came from inside. She would want people to value the music without all the glamour.

Tommy decided that he wanted to start easy and look at the rehearsal space before going down to the original Chrome Cat, to Judes apartment.

The place was empty, thankfully.

Tommy couldn't believe it. It looked the same. There were minor differences. Some of the equipment was new and it was cleaner, but nothing else was different. She hadn't replaced the paint or furniture and if anything she had maybe added some older looking furniture.

Looking around he felt like he was back to that first night where Jude had sung Not Standing Around. That night was when he realized that she may have been a kid, but she had been through so much that in some ways she was more of an adult than him.

That night Jude proved to everyone that she was a star and that it was going to take more than a few people saying she was a one hit wonder to make her stop singing. Looking back Tommy likes to think that that was the night he really fell in love with Jude.

Going out onto the fire escape Tommy remembered their conversation. He remembered promising her that if ever the door was locked he would just break down the door. But what he did he do only months later. He leaves her and doesn't even come back for her funeral. So much for door breaking.

Not being able to stand being outside anymore, Tommy goes back into the building where he finds Speiderman sitting on the one couch playing his guitar.

"What are you doing here?" Speed asks not even looking up.

"I honestly don't know. I just got in my car and drove and this is where I ended up." Tommy says heading to the door. "But I'll leave if you want. I have no reason to be here. I just wanted to see what she had done. I'll leave you alone."

"I loved her." Speed says standing up and setting his guitar down. "She knew too. She told me she wished things could be different, but she also said that my love for her had to do with the music we made together and nothing to do with her being her." Speed admits putting his hands in his pocket as a sign he won't punch Tommy again.

"I'm sorry. I know that sounds really lame right now, but I don't know what else to say." Tommy says turning and looking at Speed.

"I blamed you. For everything. For her not loving me, for her being so sad, and even for her death." Taking a deep breath he continues."But I know now it's not your fault that she didn't love me. You can't help who you love, because if you did I doubt you'd be here right now. Because if you could help who you love, you'd probably be with Sadie or someone closer to your age and would seem to be more your style." Speed then turns his back on Tommy walking over to the drums and sitting on the stool. "I still blame you for her being sad and partly for her death, and even if it's childish, I always will. But I want you to know she loved you and no matter how badly you hurt her or how mad she was at you, she always loved you." With that said Speed bashes on the base drum as if to break the tension building in the room.

"Why are you telling me this? How do you know all of this?" Tommy asks walking towards the window looking out and wondering if maybe this is all just a bad dream and he'll wake up to it being 8 months earlier and it will the morning of Jude's release party.

"That's simple. Jude. She told me. The night she bought this place we talked for hours. She told me everything, starting at her 16th birthday to the day you left and let me tell you. After listening to her tell me all that I thought you were the biggest scum bag on the earth and I couldn't understand how she could love someone who could kiss her and be there for her one second and then take it all away the next."

"Yeah I know what you mean. I don't know how Jude could stand me, let alone love me after everything I've done to her." Tommy says sitting down. "I mean I spent so much of my time pushing her away and then the second she found someone else I was pulling her close to break them up. Like with you two. I got with Sadie and did my best to keep Jude at arms length, but when I saw her with you I just knew that I couldn't be with Sadie when my heart was with Jude. I feel like an ass to say this now but I really did try my best to break you guys up." Tommy says giving Speed a sheepish look.

"Hey man, you weren't the only one. I realized that when James and I found you two here on her 17th birthday that I wasn't going to be with Jude much longer. She loved you and I was just her friend which she shared awesome music chemistry with." Speed says just shrugging. "She told me about that night. Everything you guys said to each other. I think that was the best way for her to explain why me and her would never work. Because like with you and Sadie, her heart was with you and not me." Speed says looking at Tommy.

"Why are you telling me all of this? You should be hating me right now. Not trying to help me." Tommy says all bewildered.

"I'm saying this because Jude can't and I know she would want to. Because even if I do hate you she loved you." Speed says standing up and putting the drum sticks back on the snare. "You don't have to leave here or Toronto. This is just as much yours as it is Jude's. She left it to you. Kinda surprised us all that she had a will to begin with, but even more so that is said you got the Chrome Cat and all her musical belongings. I guess she figured that you'de understand her reasonings for buying the place." And with that Speed walks to the door, but not before tossing a set of keys to Tommy.

"What are these for?" Tommy asks looking at the ring with the guitar keychain.

"There the keys to the building. There's a key on there for the door to the roof, for this room here, the door to enter the building, and the door for Jude's apartment. It's all yours, everything should still be there." Speed says before turning to leave.

"Are you telling me that Jude's stuff is still downstairs, untouched. You guys were just going to wait and see if I came back." Tommy says in disbelief.

"Well yes and no." Speed says turning around. "Darius came over since none of us could stand to look at what was left of Jude's life and he took her clothes and some of her books and put them in charities. He also cleaned out her kitchen so nothing would spoil. No one really knew if and when people would be back into that apartment. Turns on no one has since D though. So if you're up to it, it's the pink key on the key ring." And with that Speed left Tommy standing in the middle of the rehearsal space looking down at the pink key.

Was he up to it? What would he find it he did go? Tommy was almost to afraid to find out.

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OK! Is it it good? Is it bad? Or possibly somewhere in between? Please review and let me know what you think!

And I know Speiderman's character seems REALLY serious and REALLY grown up. But after Judes death I just think he would sort of grow up. So I hope you're all ok that he isn't so childish anymore!


	5. Picture it

Ok here it is the next chapter. I had trouble writing this because I just can't seem to find the right words for what I want to say. So here it is and hopefully I didn't disappoint anyone!

Also thank you to all who reviewed! Special thanks goes to Saralyleth, MuSiKal JeAnIoUs, and tommyandjude4ever. You guys really make me want to keep writing this story and thanks doesn't quite seem like enough but that's all I can really do.

Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the characters

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**At G-Major.**

Darius is in his office on the phone. "Hey I got some news for you Liam. Yeah Tommy's back. I don't know what to do about him. Yeah he knows about Jude. How do you think he took it? He blacked out man, he really freaked. No I'm not kidding. Yeah well they really must love each other. Well no this shouldn't change anything, but knowing these two it probably will. Yes I know that the threat is still out there. No I don't think I'm going to tell Tommy about everything. I think the less people that know the better. Yes I know if things get better than Tommy will be mad." Darius is standing up and getting ready to leave. "No don't mention Tommy. If anyone is going to it's going to it will be me. Yeah. I'll see you when you get back."

And with that Darius leaves G-Major for the night.

**Back at the Chrome Cat.**

It had taken Tommy about half and hour to finally decide he was going to go down to Jude's apartment Then after that it took another ten minutes to build up the will power to actually get in the elevator and go down to the basement floor and into Judes apartment. The hardest part to Tommy was putting the key into the lock and opening the door.

Walking into the apartment and turning on the light Tommy thought that he was going to die from lack of oxygen. Because the room took his breath away.

The room was like taking a step back into memory lane. Tommy had figured since she hadn't really changed the rehearsal space. That then she wouldn't really change anything, but she had.

Even though her apartment was made up of one room she had made it look like three seperate rooms.

She had the kitchen in the back corner where he had found the candles on her birthday. To make it it's own seperate room though she had put in and island with a sink right in the middle and about 3 ft. of counter top on both sides. Then she had a mini fridge and a pantry style shelves. He didn't see a stove or oven, which didn't surprise him since Jude could never cook, but he did see a toaster which she would've needed to fullfil her pop tarts addiction.

But if you turn to the other far corner of the room you would see Jude's bedroom. She had bought those room seperators, type curtain things. Tommy wasn't quite sure what they were called, he never was into the whole room designing thing. But they blocked off her bedroom so she had privacy. Tommy would just leave that room alone for now. He wasn't that ready to deal with everything.

But now returning to why Tommy felt like why his breath had been knocked out of him.

He was now in the living room. In the corner behind the TV was the piano, the one from her birthday and she still had the candles all over it with a picture of him and her from what must have been that first night in the rehearsal space. The picture was of him and Jude at the mic. singing and looking each other in the eye. Tommy doesn't remember the picture being taken, but then he was so caught up in Jude that night that it wasn't surprising he couldn't. Besides the piano was the couch. She had kept it and added a chair and a loveseat for more sitting room.

But what really caught his eye was the wall behind the couch.

There were at least two dozen pictures there. All from since Jude won the Instant Star contest up until when he left. He just stood in disbelief.

"How did she get all these pictures!" Tommy asks the world in general, hoping that some type of answer would come to him.

She had pictures of everyone, but most of them were of him and her. There was one from her 16th birthday where he was leaning in telling her how great she looked. Then there was also a couple of pictures of them from when they were in the studio. There was the one with him holding Jude up in a handstand and one with him holding her up in a piggyback ride. Both were from when Jude was singing Not Standing Around, before Liam had come and ruined the fun. There were pictures of Jude with Jamie and SME. Ones with her on stage.

But what really surprised him was the picture from Judes good bye party. It had the whole group in it. Georgia, EJ, Kwest, SME, Darius, Sadie, Jamie, Jude, and him. That night Georgia threw a going away party for Jude, before she went on her first tour. And as a gift for everyone, Jude gave everyone a copy of the group picture from that night. So they could all remember it. But unlike everyone elses picture this one showed Tommy giving Jude a kiss on her cheek, instead of looking at the camera and smiling.

Tommy remembered that after he did that Jude had turned and gave him the most confused look in the world. After all they were having a little argument because Tommy was dating Sadie and Jude had felt hurt and betrayed. She had asked Tommy if he liked playing games and then she walked away to go hang out with SME and Jamie. He also remembered feeling like a complete ass afterwards and had regretted telling Sadie he would go see her in Europe.

Feeling like the world was spinning Tommy quickly sat down on the couch which is when he found a manila envelope underneath one of the throw pillows. Not sure whether or not the envelope contained something personal Tommy hesitated opening it. But then decided that everything was his after all and he would have to go through it soon or later he opened the envelope. Looking inside Tommy saw what looked like to be more pictures.

Dumping them out onto the couch he soon realized what these pictures were of and thats when he saw the note. "$50,000 or these go to the press!"

What the hell? Tommy thought and just when he was getting really upset his cell goes off. Looking at the caller id he see's it's someone with ALOT of explaining to do.

Tommy opens his phone and before the person can even say hello he's saying "Yeah I found the pictures! So now can someone tell me what the hell happened and what are you hiding!"

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Ok how was it? Be honest now! I'm really listening to what you guys are saying and love reading your reviews!

And about the picture from the going away party...I hope that wasn't to out there, I just always thought they should've made a bigger deal about Jude's first tour than they actually seemed to. But anyways I hoped you all liked it and am waiting to read your reviews...


	6. Blackmail

Ok here it is chapter 6. I have another big surprise for you guys in this chapter...even though I think some of you have already guessed what it is...So I hope you like it because I enjoyed writing it! And thanks so much to those who review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or it's characters. Oh and I don't own Ada either! you'll get what I mean later.

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"What's this all about Darius?" Tommy asks storming into G-major.

"T what are you talking about?" Darius asks even though he thinks he already knows.

Throwing down the pictures with the note Tommy yells "Whats with these pictures? When did this happen? And what was done to take care of the situation?" Pacing in front of D's desk Tommy goes off. "I've been gone 8 months and in that time Judes gotten drunk, taken advantage of, been blackmailed, and died! Talk about dropping the ball D. What happened? You couldn't control a 17 year old?"

"Yeah Tommy that's right. AFTER you left..." Darius shouts back. But before going on he takes a deep breath to gain control. "After you left Jude lost control for a little bit. I don't know the whole story from that night. But I do know that the pictures were taken the night Jude ditched her release party to go see Mason in Berry. Jude swears that all this guy did was take pictures." Sitting back down Darius looks Tommy right in the eye. "And it wasn't about not being able to control a 17 year old. It was about not being able to control a 17 year old dealing with a broken heart." With that Darius gives Tommy a look, almost like he's daring him to blame anyone else for Jude's broken heart. Instead of speaking up Tommy just looks away.

"What did you guys do to take care of the situation?" Tommy asks sitting in one of the chairs across from Darius.

"What do you think we did? We payed that guy."

"But G-Major doesn't or at least didn't have the funds to pay that kind of money."

"You're right Tom. G-Major didn't. But Darius Mills does."

Tommy looked shocked. "You payed. That doesn't sound like something you'd do man. You usually let your artists deal with their own stupid mistakes. So why did you do it?"

"Because believe it or not T, but I like Jude. The little punk rock princess rebel had grown on me. So when she came to me with the photos looking all broken and lost I couldn't really say no. Besides it wasn't completely her fault that she was in this situation." Darius says glaring at Tommy.

"Yeah I know. I reall screwed up man. But what can I do about it now? The person I need to make it up to is no longer here."

"Well man I could always use your producer skills here, if you still want to stay."

"Yeah I do. I have to, at least until I sort through all of Jude's stuff she left me."

"Yeah umm, Well I'm going to be leaving town for a little bit, so I'm going to need you to keep things going till I or Liam come back. Ok?"

"Yeah sure. Just don't be gone to long. I don't know how everyone's going to take me being back."

"I think the only people you'll have to worry about is SME and maybe Stuart. Jude's mom hasn't been back since the funeral and I don't think she really plans to come back just to yell at you."

"Yeah, well I'm not to worried about SME, me and Speed kinda sorta I think truced." Tommy says shrugging his shoulders. "But hey, how did Jude's family take this whole blackmail news?"

"Well pretty well considering they don't know about it. Jude came to me with the problem and I got Liam involved for financial reasons. And well we decided that it was best to keep it a secret. So it would be best not to mention it."

"Yeah ok, see ya man." Tommy says walking out of G-Major and heading home. He didn't feel like going back to the Chrome Cat right now. Decided that he would need to be wide awake and ready to deal for that.

**Back in Darius's office**

Darius is on the phone. "Yes I'de like to book a flight to Ada, Minnesota. Yes I would like to be in the air in the next hour. Yes thank you." Hanging up just to dial again. The phone rings maybe once.

"Yeah Liam I'm on my way. Just tell her I'm coming and that should shut her up."

On the other end of the phone was a very tired and irritated looking Liam.

Standing in the kitchen leaning against the sink waiting for the stupid coffee maker to finish Liam continues to complain. "Yes well do you know what kind of attitude and temper-tantrums I have to deal with out here in the middle of nowhere, and without decent coffee! Yes fine I'll see you when you get here."

Turning to the blonde at the table he says "Do you hear that? Darius will be here in less than 10 hours. So go write something or sing, do whatever it is you do."

"Good! And when he gets here he better be ready to answer my questions! I'm sick of the run around you've been giving me!" And with that Jude Harrison stomps out of the kitchen in that annoying way she know's Liam hates. Going into her room to write some more. After all thats what Darius has been having her do the last 4 months she's been "dead".

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Oh! Big shocker there! lol I hope you guys like the chapter. I will hopefully have the next one up by tomorrow night. So plz go and review and tell me how I'm doing. I love to read what you guys have to say!


	7. Ada, Minnesota

Ok here's the next chapter. This one took longer to write and post than the others, but I think that it's one of my better ones. So read it and tell me what you think! And thank you so much to those who are reviewing, you guys are making this whole thing worth while.

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.

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**Toronto at Tommy's apartment**

Tommy couldn't sleep. He knew a big part of the reason was because of Jude. He missed her so much while he was gone in Montana, but at least then he stilled had the dream or the hope of talking to her again. But now being back and finding out she's dead it's like part of him is too. He felt like any hope he had in the world had vanished.

But that wasn't the only reason he couldn't sleep. He didn't know what it was, but part of him felt like something was off. He figured it was finding out about the whole blackmail thing. Tommy didn't know, it just seemed like he was missing something or Darius wasn't telling him the whole story.

Not wanting to dwell on it anymore Tommy tries again for the fifth time to fall asleep. And finally after a lot of tossing and turning he falls into a deep slumber filled with dreams of Jude.

**Back in Minnesota**

Darius's plane landed at 10 o'clock that night. Walking out of the airport he looks for his rental car. It was dodge ram truck, not his usual style, but for these circumstances he needed something that didn't stand out and could drive the 50 some miles to Ada.

Driving on the highway Darius looks out into the country. Darius misses the country. He doesn't understand how Jude or Liam for that matter could complain about being out here with all this. Of course he hasn't been stuck out here for 4 months and not allowed to talk to any of your friends or family or leave the small town.

Darius does miss the country, but there's no way he could give up the city life cold turkey and never come back. He is a city type of guy and Jude and Liam seem to be the same way.

At the time when he was trying to find a place for Jude to keep her safe he figured a farm would be nice. After all there was the farm her family had owned and she really seemed like that. But she hadn't been stuck there indefinetly like she was now.

Ada had been the perfect town for what they needed. It was out of Canada, but not so far out that it took a 20 hour plane ride to get there. It was a small town, where most of the residents were in their early 40s or older, there were very few teenagers. No one there knew who Jude Harrison was and no one there really cared that a 18 year old girl had moved into the old farm house that had been for sale for the last year. It was exactly what Jude needed, but the last thing Jude wanted.

He knew Jude missed her life back in Toronto. She missed the excitment of it all. When ever he talked to her she mentioned the studio and how when she gets back she'll be ready to make her next three albums because all she can do is write. And even though Darius would never admit it, but he couldn't really wait for Jude to get back either. The studio wasn't really the same without her and he would like to get his #1 artist back, asap.

But even though Darius wanted Jude to come back and pick up where she left off and sing great songs, he was also a little worried about what might happen when she did come back. People were going to be upset that they were lied to. Jude's family and closest friends would be really upset over the fact that she or him didn't tell them what was going on. Of course they would all be happy and forgive in the end, but what would it be like in the beginning.

Darius was really worried about Tommy. It was hitting him hard about Jude being dead. He knew that when Jude came back that Tommy would be happy that she was alive. But he would also feel very betrayed that he was lied by two people that he trusted. Darius was worried that Tommy might leave again.

When Darius arrived at the house he had to show picture ID to get past the gate. The guard says to him "Good luck man. This girl seems to have one hell of an attitude. I don't envy who ever this girl is mad at."

Darius just laughs and replies "Oh trust me I know how bad of an attitude she has. It's what makes her who she is." The guard just nods his head and lets D through.

Driving up the driveway Darius parks next to Jude's VW Bug. It was a cute little car, but he didn't see the big deal with it. But here in the US they seemed to be found more often and so Jude decided that thats the car she would drive.

Walking into the kitchen Darius sees Liam at the table reading the newspaper. Liam looks up when he hears the door close. "Good you're here. Jude has been in her room since about 8 and I didn't dare go see what she was doing."

"Yeah well if she's asleep I'm just going to wait till the morning to talk to her." Darius says pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"So what are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. She should know that this guy, Corwin Black, has been caught. But at the same time she shouldn't come back till after the trial." Darius says sitting down.

"Yeah you're right. But thats not the only thing I'm talking about. And you know that Darius. What about Tommy."

"Liam I don't think we should tell her yet. If she found out he was back there would be no way we would be able to keep her here till the trial is over. For now I think it's best we don't mention Tommy being back in Toronto at G-Major." Darius says leaning back and rubbing a hand over his face.

From the door way Jude had been standing there since hearing Darius come in and after hearing the last part she couldn't stay quiet any more. "Tommy's back! Tommy's back and you were going to tell me! How...Why...I have to go back Darius! He thinks I'm dead!"

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Ok so how much do you guys hate me right now? I promise that I'm already starting the next chapter, but I want to read some of you reviews before I post it. I love reading them and so don't hold back and tell me what you really think. Thanks so much for reading!


	8. What if?

Hey everyone here is chapter 8. Now this chapter was a blast to write and so I hope you guys have lots of fun reading it!

I can honestly say when I first started this story I figured it was going to be a little oneshot that no one would really read. I never thought I would get the feed back i did and it makes me really happy that you all are enjoying the story. You guys are the reason that this story is doing as good as it is and so I thank you!

And a special thanks goes out to tommyandjude4ever, saralyleth, Camsma, MuSiKaL JeAnIoUs, Saranha de Angelo, and everyone else who has stuck with me from the beginning. This story started out sad and didn't seem like there could be a happy ending, but you all stuck with me and look where it's got you! LOL thanks again to everyone!

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"Liam I don't think we should tell her yet. If she found out he was back there would be no way we would be able to keep her here till the trial is over. For now I think it's best we don't mention Tommy being back in Toronto at G-Major." Darius says leaning back and rubbing a hand over his face.

From the door way Jude had been standing there since hearing Darius come in and after hearing the last part she couldn't stay quiet any more. "Tommy's back! Tommy's back and you weren't going to tell me! How...Why...I have to go back Darius! He thinks I'm dead!"

"Listen to me Jude when I say you can't go back yet. It's not safe for you to go back to Toronto." Darius says standing up and walking over to Jude. "Tommy doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. But you need to stay here till everything smooths over. He would want you to wait till you're safe."

"But Darius. Tommy thinks I'm dead! He can't be dealing with that very well."

"Jude I know it's hard sitting back when you know the people you care about are hurting. But if you go back now you won't be safe." Darius says almost pleading with Jude. He is in no mood right now to argue with her.

"Darius I hear you, but I don't care. I haven't seen Tommy since he left 8 months ago..."

"That's right Jude since Tom left you." Liam says interupting Jude. "You're sitting here worried how he's dealing with you being dead, when he didn't seem to really care how you were when he left. If you ask me thats a little strange. If I were you I'de want Mr. Quincy to worry for a little while." Liam says leaning back in his chair.

Darius sits there listening to all of this and he just wants to tell Liam to shut up, because he knows Jude is listening and taking every word in. But on the other hand it's going to make his life a whole lot easier, along with everyone else involved with keeping her safe.

Darius is willing to bet right now from look on Jude's face that she is remembering how she was right after Tom left. He just wondered how Jude was going to react to Liam's reverse phsychology.

"You know what you're right. He left me." Jude says beginning to pace back and forth. "He didn't care that I was hurting and he didn't even call anyone back. He went off to god knows where and stayed gone for 8 months. Then comes back and finds out I'm dead and all I can do is worry how he's reacting to me being dead." Stopping to look back at Darius and Liam Jude continues. "You know what. That's it! From now on I'm worrying about Jude and I'm going to let Tommy worry about himself. That's what he seems to be good at. Darius I'm willing to stay here till everything is settled in Toronto. In fact I don't know if I ever want to go back! Lets see how Little Tommy Q likes that!" Jude says walking out of the kitchen to go back to her room. Leaving a very confused and worried Darius and Liam sitting at the kitchen table.

Darius looks over at Liam and starts shaking his head. "What in the hell did you just do!"

"Me! What about you? I had to do something to keep her from hopping into that little grasshopper or beatle or whatever it is she drives and going to the nearest airport and flying back to G-Major." Liam says rubbing his face as if washing away what just happened. "If I hadn't of said that, then she would never listen to us about waiting on going back."

"Yes but now she doesn't plan on going back at all. We can't have her stay here forever."

"No we can't. But Jude isn't going to be able to stay here forever. She already misses her family and friends. If you let her know that she can't record from here and I bet she will be willing to come back when we're good and ready for her." Liam says standing up to fill his cup.

"I don't know man. You just tried reverse phsychology on her once and look where it got us. If you try it again watch she will tell us she doesn't want to sing again and plans to set up here as farmer Jude."

Jude was back in her room, but with the door open and she could hear everything that Darius and Liam were saying and trying her best to not laugh. She couldn't believe it. They actually thought she was serious about staying here. Here being the middle of nowhere Minnesota. Yeah right and Jamie was going to be the next Tim Rozon.

Jude of course is going back to Toronto and ASAP! She needed to tell Tommy everything. Of course she'll first beat the crap out of him for leaving her like that.

Jude was mad and hurt that Tommy left the way he did. And she didn't plan on forgiving him right away. But she didn't want him to think she was dead, because then he might leave again and go to where ever it was he went to before. Making it so she couldn't yell at him for leaving her.

Picking up her phone and dialing the number that was second nature to her brain Jude waits to hear it ring.

**Back in Toronto at Tommy's apartment**

Tommy's phone was ringing. He knew that who ever was calling at 2 in the morning probably had a good reason. So instead of letting it go to voicemail he gets up and picks up the phone. Looking at the caller ID he sees it says Minnesota but no phone #. Who the hell does he know from Minnesota?

Answering the phone he says "Hello?" And then there's no reply. Tommy sits the for a second and just when he's about to hang up he hears someone, a women, take in a deep breath and then the line goes dead.

Tommy pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it and thinks that maybe...No it couldn't be. It's just his imagination messing with him. Setting his phone down and rolling back over Tommy falls asleep thinking to himself. But what if?

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OK how was it? I love to read what you guys have to say and it honestly helps me with ideas when I get stuck. So tell me what you think. It really means a lot!

And how did I do on Judes character? This is my first time writing her and I want to know if I'm doing a good job since she is an important character.


	9. Jude

Ok here's chapter 9. This chapter is going a little more in depth on Jude's character and t will explain why she was joking the way she was in the last chapter. So enjoy and thanks to all that have been reviewing it means a lot to me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters

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Tommy pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it and thinks that maybe...No it couldn't be. It's just his imagination messing with him. Setting his phone down and rolling back over Tommy falls asleep thinking to himself. But what if?

**Back in Ada, Minnesota**

Jude heard Tommy say "Hello" and she couldn't do anything but take in a deep breath and letting it out. And just when she was about say something Liam shows up in the doorway causing Jude to hang up so she didn't get caught.

"Can't you knock before entering someone's personal bedroom?" Jude asks jumping on to her bed.

"Well normally I would Jude, but since your bedroom door was open and you were standing at your desk. I figured that I wasn't really interupting anything important." Liam says leaning in the doorway. "Unless you were making a phone call you shouldn't be." He continues after noticing the phone in Jude's hand.

"No I was just checking my messages from earlier when I was horseback riding. Nothing secretive about that now is there?" Jude asks tossing the phone to the foot of her bed.

"No there would be nothing secretive about that. But there is something strange about you checking you messages." Liam says walking into her room, picking up the phone and hanging it up.

"What's strange about me checking my messages?" Jude asks giving a nervous laugh. She didn't really like Liam. He was a nice guy, on occasion, but he was also a very smart guy. Who could usually tell when she was lying or planning something.

"Well it's just you haven't gotten a phone call from anyone but me or Darius in about four months now. And I know I didn't call you and I know Darius didn't call you. And I know you know that neither of us have called you. So now, who exactly were you expecting to leave you a message?" Liam asks giving Jude his I'm smarter than you are look.

"Ok fine you caught me!" Jude says throwing her arms up in the air in a surrender signal. "I was calling Tommy. What do you want? A cookie?" Jude asks rolling over onto her back and looking at the ceiling. "It's just, he thinks I'm dead Liam. What if he leaves again before I get back and I lose my chance of yelling at him for leaving to begin with?" Jude asks looking over at Liam, pleading with her eyes to let her call Tommy.

"Jude don't worry. Tommy isn't going to be leaving Toronto anytime soon. You'll be back in Toronto in no time. Trust me." Liam says crouching down in front of Jude. "You're going to be here for month more, two at the most. After that you can go back to Toronto and explain to everyone what happened and you can even yell at Tommy." Standing up he says "At least that's if you still want to go back to Toronto. I mean you did mention staying here. Which could be made possible..." Liam says looking around the room.

"Yeah right Liam. I could never stay here and we both know it. I need to be in the studio. Nothing has changed from last year." Jude says reminding him how she used to plead with him and Darius to let her record her second album.

"Ah yes the studio...Which reminds me of why I came in here in the first place. I will be going back to the studio tomorrow. I'm going to be leaving you here with Darius. Now with that said. You better drive him up the wall like you did to me or I will make sure you're stuck here an extra month." Liam says smiling down at Jude.

"Oh don't worry Liam. I have many ways of making Darius's stay with me eventful." Jude says laughing.

In the back of her mind Jude did feel guilty about laughing and cracking jokes, while back in Toronto everyone she loved in cared for thought she was dead and was probably mourning their loss. But what else could she do?

After Tommy had left her she knew she had acted like the living dead. She knew she had everyone worried about her. Even when she was getting better and starting deal with everything that had happened to her, Jude still hadn't been the same.

After Darius had brought her to this ranch Jude thought her life was over. First Tommy had left and then she had to leave and pretend she was dead just to make sure she didn't die. It was a lot to deal with. But Jude was finally living again.

Now here she was four months of being considered dead by everyone that mattered and Jude had found the only way to keep her sane. And that was by laughing and enjoying life. Jude had spent the first month here in Ada just thinking about why she was in hiding and the fact everyone thought she was dead. That was a very depressing month. But after that month Liam and Darius both took turns coming to see her and bringing her news back from Toronto, they both knew what this was doing to her and wanted to make hiding as fun as possible. And somewhere between then and now she had discovered the old Jude.

Jude knew when it was time to go back to Toronto that it was going to be hard on everyone. She almost wished that Darius would tell everyone before she got back so he could do the explaining. She just hoped they all would understand and be there for her. And she was pretty sure everyone would too. Everyone except for maybe Tommy, who would probably feel betrayed and hurt that he was lied to. She just hoped he didn't leave again...

"Earth to Jude!" Liam says bringing Jude out of her daze. "Care to tell me what was going through that mind of yours?" He asks.

"Oh it's nothing Liam. It's just. What if when I come back nobody understands why I had to leave? What if they all get really upset and...and..."

"You mean what if Tommy gets upset and leaves again. Right?" Liam says giving her a knowing look.

"Yeah Liam. That's it. What if Tommy leaves after I come back?"

"Then he's and idiot and you shouldn't waste another thought on him." Liam says turning to walk out of the room. "I'm going to go pack so I can leave in the morning. Now be good for Darius, but not to good." Liam says.

"Liam one last thing." Jude says causing him to turn to look at her. "Will you promise to call me if it seems like Tommy is getting ready to leave again."

"I promise" Liam says before leaving a very worried Jude.

Walking out into the kitchen to where Darius is still at the kitchen table Liam sits down next to him. "This trial better not last long. Because she will not be able to stay here much longer before she bursts."

"Yeah well I just hope that when she does go back to Toronto that things won't get to out of hand."

"So do I. But with Jude I doubt anything will run smoothly."

"Yeah no kidding."

And with that both men stand up and get ready for the sunrise. One would be going back to his home and trying to keep a very upset man from falling apart. While the other stayed to keep a very upset women from doing something drastic that puts her in danger.

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OK you guys what do you think? I love reading your reviews and they really do help me with my story! So go ahead and press that purplish bluish button and let me know what you think! And thanks so much for reading!


	10. The tears you can't control

Ok all you guys are asking and telling me that I need to have Jude go back or Tommy to come to her. Well I promise that Tommy and Jude will meet soon. Just work with me here. I am a huge Jommy fan and I want to start writing them together. So just letting you know that your wish will come true soon. Hopefully in the next chapter or so.

But anyways. Thank you to all who are reviewing.

And a special thanks goes to Saranha de Angelo. You are reviewing every chapter and letting me know where I could improve in my story. Thank you it means a lot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.

Here's a warning for you all... I cried writing this chapter and so you might all want to grab some kleenex before you continue.

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**Back in Toronto**

Tommy woke up that morning with a lot on his mind.

First of all. He had to go into work and be the producer he was before he left. He didn't really know if he could be that guy though with Jude being dead, but he figured Darius wouldn't have asked him to if he didn't trust him. Tommy knew he could go into work. He just didn't know how much work he was going to get done.

Second of all he had to still go through everything Jude left him. That, to him, was going to be the hardest thing he would probably have to face in his life. Because it was Judes life. It was everything she had in the world and part of him couldn't believe that he was chosen to go through it all. He knew that some would look at it as a gift, but part of him couldn't help but think this was a punishment for leaving. He knew it was wrong to look at it that way, but part of him felt like this was karmas revenge.

Finally. The phone call from last night or early this morning, depends on how you looked at it. He knew it wasn't possible for it to have been Jude on the other end. But knowing and excepting are two Very different things. He couldn't get it out of his mind. He keeps on wanting to say he dreamed it up the phone call, but he knows that's not true. All Tommy knew was that whoever tried calling him, had not tried calling again.

Walking into G-Major Tommy see's Sadie at her reception desk on the phone. When she looks up and sees Tommy she just smiles and nods her head. Tommy nods back. He then walks back to where his office was. Opening the door Tommy finds that nothing had been moved. Actually it looked like no one had been in there since he left. The only thing he saw that wouldn't have normally been there was Judes' journal. The one he had given her after her second album.

Not really understanding why the journal was there he picks it up and opens the cover and thats when he sees the words he had wrote in there for her. Along with a picure of him and her from the Denim Jackets of Hope charity. It was the picture from when him and her were talking while Jude was getting her hair done. Not wanting to look any further Tommy closes the journal but carries it with him as he leaves.

Walking into Studio A Tommy sees Kwest at the sound board and Judes voice is filling the whole room.

**_Of all the things I've believed in,  
I just want to get it over with,  
tears form behind my eyes,  
but I do not cry,  
counting the days that pass me by. _**

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,  
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,  
it feels like I'm starting all over again,  
The last two years were just pretend,  
and I say-

Kwest seeing Tommy goes to shut off the music but Tommy stops him. He wants to hear this.

**_  
Goodbye to you,  
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,  
You were the one I loved,  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to. _**

I still get lost in your eyes,  
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,  
closing my eyes,  
and you chase my thoughts away,  
to a place where I am blinded by the light,  
but it's not right.

****

This was a new song that he's never heard before. It was good. It let him know how badly he had hurt her. And it hurt him to hear the pain in her voice. But it killed him to know that he was the cause for that pain.**_  
_**

**_Goodbye to you,  
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,  
You were the one I loved,  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to._**

**_Hold on to...  
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,  
I want you,  
and I'm not giving in this time._**

**_Goodbye to you,  
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,  
You were the one I loved,  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to-  
Goodbye to you,  
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,  
You were the one I loved,  
the one thing that I tried to hold on to._**

With the song being over Kwest turns off the music and looks at Tommy with an apologetic look. "Hey man I'm sorry. If I had known you were here and being able to hear that then I would've plugged in head phones."

"No man it's ok. I...I'm glad I heard it. That was good, no that was great!" Tommy says sitting down in the chair next to Kwest. "When did she record it?" Tommy asks finally looking up from the sound board and straight at Kwest.

"About a month after you left. Jude came into the studio and she was carrying her journal and guitar. She said she had to get this song off her chest. If she did then she could finally take the first step to moving on." Standing up to take out the cd Kwest hands it to Tommy. Who just looks down at it and back up at Kwest.

"What is this?" Tommy asks flipping it in his hand.

"It's all the songs Jude recorded after you left up until she died. There's only about 5 songs on there. 4 complete and one she started but could never really finish. If you want you can listen to them. They're pretty good actually." Kwest says. Looking over at Tommy he wonders if he's heard a single word. Because all of Tommy's energy seemed to be on holding that cd. Standing up to leave the studio. "I'll leave you alone to listen to it."

"No you don't have to. I'm going to go and get some air. Maybe I'll head over to the Chrome Cat afterwards. I'll have my cell on if you need me." Tommy says standing to leave. Quickly turning back to Kwest. "Hey man. Umm where?" Tommy asks.

"Sadie and Stuart decided on Calvery Lutheran. That was the church she was baptized at." Kwest says knowing what Tommy means without him really asking.

"Thanks man." Tommy says then turning and leaving Studio A to go back to his office and pick up his keys to his motorcycle. He was in the mood for the wind to be right in his face and the viper with it's top down wasn't going to do it.

Walking back past the reception desk Sadie is off the phone. "Oh Tommy! Liam will be back here somewhere around 3 and he wants to have a meeting with you. He told me to tell you to be back here at 5 this afternoon." Sadie tells Tommy causing him to stop.

"Did he say why he wants to talk to me?"

"No he didn't, but it's probably just about you being back and stuff like that." Sadie says shrugging. "But hey Tommy. How are you doing? You know if you need to talk me and Kwest are here for you."

"Yeah I know. It's just for right now I just need to process it. So talking to you guys won't really help until I do that. Sorry." Tommy says turning to leave.

"No thats ok. You're just like Jude when it comes to stuff like this. Never wanting to talk." Sadie says quietly to Tommy's retreating back.

**20 mins. later at Calvary Lutheran Cemetary**

Tommy pulls up to the fence around the cemetary and he gets off. Not knowing for sure where he would find her headstone he just sort of starts walking. Looking at the headstones as he passes Tommy thinks about earlier. He used to think that going through Judes' belongings was going to be the hardest thing he ever did, but boy was he wrong. This, right here, was going to be the hardest thing he ever would have to do.

Finally getting towards the back of the cemetary Tommy sees a headstone with daisies and lilies laying on top of it. And knowing before he even reads the name on the headstone, that he's found the one he's looking for.

Walking around towards the front of the headstone to read it Tommy stops when he sees whats on it.

_Judith Marie Harrison_

_Born November 6th 1988_

_Died July 19th 2006_

(Theres suppose to be a guitar with a music note right here, but my clipart isn't working right. Sorry!)

And then underneath the guitar and music note was a quote that made Tommy lose whatever self control he had had. And he just started to cry. It said...

_"Some of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us"_

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Ok now I warned you that this made me cry and it might make you too. So I hope you all took my advice and got some kleenex before you read this chapter.

But I hope you all liked it and that you will review. Thank you to all who are reading. And special thanks to those reviewing!


	11. What to do?

Hey everyone! Here is the next chapter. This one isn't near as sad as the last one. So I don't think you'll need any kleenex this time. Just quickly wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reviewing. It means so much to click on to my account and see all you that reviewed and I really love reading them. And thank you to everyone who is reading. This story wouldn't be as successful without you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the Characters. Oh and I don't own the song from the last chapter either! That was Michelle Branch's Goodbye To You...but I'm sure most of you guys probably knew that. lol

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**Ada, Minnesota**

Jude had woke up this morning thinking about how she was almost home. Liam had told her last night that all she had to do was wait for the trial and then she could go home. She was going to see Toronto in like 2 months! Getting dressed that morning Jude decided she was going to go for a horseback ride down to the river. She liked going down to the river. It was so peaceful there and it let her clear her mind of everything that was going on around her.

But walking out into the kitchen she saw Darius and she knew that he had other plans for Jude.

"Jude. We need to talk."

**Toronto**

Tommy doesn't know how long he's been at Jude's grave. After reading what was put on her headstone Tommy had sat down and was just looking at it. Which is what he was doing right now. Sitting there he felt something in his jacket pocket. Pulling out whatever was in there he realizes it's the journal. He didn't even remember putting it in there, but he must have when he was grabbing his helmet.

Opening it up to the page marked with the picture Tommy finds the lyrics to the song he had heard earlier. Flipping through the pages Tommy finds the journal is completely empty besides that one song. Thinking that the reasoning behind only the one song being in the journal had to do with the fact Jude had forgotten the journal in his office was just stupid. Tommy knew that Jude had done it as her way of letting him go. It was Judes way of moving on after he had left her. Tommy just wished he wasn't the one that had hurt her so badly.

Looking at his watch Tommy realizes he has 40 minutes to get back to G-Major and it was a 30 some minute drive to G-major from the cemetary. Walking back to his motorcycle Tommy puts the journal back in his pocket. He was going to hold on to it. Not just because of the lyrics in it, but because it was going to be a reminder to him of what he did to the one he loved most. Not that he needed another reminder. His broken heart was reminder enough.

**Ada, Minnesota**

"Ok Darius. Let's talk." Jude says grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and pouring it into the glass. Sitting down at the table across from him she asks "what's going on? It can't be anything to horrible."

"I just got of the phone with the prosecuting attorney on the case of your blackmailer. He said that they do have a case against this guy, but it's not a very strong one." Darius says leaning forward.

"What are you saying? That he's going to be let go! What does that mean for me? Do I have to stay in hiding!" Jude says jumping up from the table. "Darius I'm not hiding for the rest of my life!"

"Jude shut up and listen to me for once." Darius says with a deep sigh. He knew she was going to react this way, but for some reason he had hoped she would listen to the whole story before she jumped to conclusions. "They didn't say that he was going to get off. Just that their case is weak at the moment. All they have to go on is the fact the guy had the pictures from that night, the money that entered his account, and Mason can identify him as being the guy from the bar. He would go to jail for blackmail, but that's only about a year in prison. Less if he gets out on parole."

"What about my murder! He ran me off the road Darius! He left me there for dead, just because I wouldn't pay. Won't he get charged for that?" Jude asks leaning against the counter.

"The prosecuter can't charge him with your murder." Darius says knowing that Jude wasn't going to be happy with his answer.

"And why the hell not!"

"Because Jude. You aren't dead!" Darius yells back. Jude just stares at him like he has a second head. Through everything. From the time she brought Darius the pictures up until this point Darius never yelled at her. He always seemed to keep his cool with her. Understanding the pain and hurt she was going through. But now that he did and he would do anything to take it back.

Then all of a sudden Jude starts laughing and it wasn't your normal joyful laughter. No it was on the verge of crying laughter. "Darius this can't be happening. I've been hiding, playing dead, for 4 months now. I've gotten so close to being able to come out of hiding. You can't just take it all back. You can't tell me that my playing dead will be the reason this guy gets free." Jude says while falling slowly to the floor. Looking up at Darius she continues. "There has to be something I can do to make it so he will go to jail."

"Jude there is. But I don't like this option. It's not safe for you and it's going to make everything we've done, including these last four months, a waste of time." Darius says crouching down in front of Jude.

"What do you mean? Why would these last four months end up a waste of time?" Jude says looking at Darius.

"You have two options." Darius says standing up and holding out his hands to help Jude stand up also. "Option one: You never go back to Toronto. You will get a completely new identity. You could still write songs, singing would not be an option. You could never be in the spotlight again. Jude Harrison will be dead to everyone, including you." Darius says pulling Jude up off the floor.

"Darius that is not an option. I don't care what the other one is." Jude says shaking her head.

"I figured you would say that. I hate that option too. But at the same time your second choice may end up with almost the same result." Darius says sitting back down at the table.

"How is that possible Darius? What could be the same if not worse than option number one?"

"Option two: You go back to Toronto for the trial. You let everyone know you're alive and you will testify against this guy for attempt of murder and for blackmailing you. You saw this guy more than anyone and you also saw the car that pushed you off the road. You can identify him better than anyone."

"Well what's so bad about that option?" Jude asks shrugging her shoulders. "I don't mind testifing."

"Yes I know that." Darius says nodding his head. "But the bad part is when you get back you won't be safe from this guy. He'll know you're alive and will probably try harder than ever to get rid of you to save his sorry ass." Darius says looking Jude in the eye. "And if that's not bad enough. The press will get wind of the whole story. Everything from the night you got drunk and the pictures were taken up until the trial. They will nit pick everything you've done and will air your dirty laundry out for the world to see. Which is where everything we've done would end up being a waste."

"Ok. So what you're telling me is that I can either stay in hiding for the rest of my life. Which means change my name and career and never talk to anyone from my past. OR! I can go back to my life asap and have everyone find out why I was hiding in the first place. Which would probably ruin my career and that's only if this guy doesn't kill me first." Jude says looking right at Darius. "Am I getting this right D. Or am I missing something? Is there a secret option C where I, oh I don't know, jump off a cliff and end this whole fiasco!"

"That's it Jude. Those two options I gave you are about it." Darius says standing up to leave the room, but stopping in front of Jude first. "Listen I know they both are horrible options. But there is nothing I can do. I've tried everything and this is what I've come up with."

"Yeah D. I know. And thank you for trying." Jude says "How long do I have to decide?" She asks looking down at the floor.

"The prosecutor told me the hearing on bail is for a week from tomorrow. And after that about three weeks before the actual trial begins. So about a month."

"Ok I have a month to decide what to do with the rest of my life." Jude says walking out of the kitchen to go to her bedroom. She didn't feel like horseback riding anymore. "And to think I thought being asked in the second grade what I wanted to do with the rest of my life was a hard desicion."

Darius just stood there watching her walk away. Wishing that this could be anyone else but this 18 year old girl that, up until about 8 months ago, had the whole country of Canada at her feet wanting to hear more of her music. Life just wasn't fair.

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	12. 1 month

Hey everyone! I know this is the longest I've waited to update, but it's only been 2 days so that's not to bad. I've just been really busy this past week. I've been working everyday and I dont get home till about 10pm and by that time I have time to sign on check my email and read your guys great reviews. And this chapter isn't one I can just start writing at 11 when I'm to tired to keep my eyes open. But I'm babbling and I thats not good.

I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and review to let me know what you think. You reviews really do help. Oh and special thanks to eveyone who is reviewing. It means a lot to sign on and see those same names popping up with a new review. So thank you!

Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the characters.

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**Ada, Minnesota**

About month has passed since Darius gave Jude her two options. Since that day Liam and Darius have been taking turns visiting Jude. They both bring her news from Toronto and both promise her Tommy isn't planning on leaving.

Jude has spent that month weighing her options.

She doesn't know what to do. Everytime she decides what she's going to do she always second guesses herself and changes her mind. Thinking back Jude remembers the day Darius was leaving to go back to Toronto after giving her the ultimatum.

She said she had decided and that she was going back with him. She was all packed up and everything. Walking out the door carrying her bags, Jude realized that if she went back her career might be over. Well obviously she didn't go back to Toronto with Darius and Liam showed up that night to comfort her and give her his opinion.

Liam had told Jude that he thought she should go back to Toronto. Jude remembers that night like it was yesterday

_**flashback**_

_Jude was in her bedroom unpacking everything she had spent packing the day before. She was crying and listening to her second album and singing along, just trying to keep her mind of Toronto and everyone there. She was in her closet when she heard a knock on her door. Walking out she saw Liam standing just outside the open doorway._

_"Liam you don't have to knock."_

_"Well thats odd. Because the last time I entered you room without knocking you almost threw your phone at me." He says laughing and shaking his head, while walking into her room and sitting down on her desk._

_"I guess you know the reason I'm unpacking." Jude says stopping and sitting down on her bed._

_"Yes I do know. But what I don't know is **Why** you are unpacking." Liam says looking around her room._

_"What do you mean?" Jude asks confused. "What do you think I should do? Darius won't tell me what he thinks. He says it's my life and that I need to decide what I do with it." Jude says looking down at the floor. "But I know you. You always have an opinion on everything and are always ready to tell whoever is listening. So Liam. What should I do?" Looking back up to see Liam looking down at the floor._

_"Jude I think you should stop unpacking and start packing again and then hop into that grasshopper you drive and get you butt to the airport and buy yourself a one way ticket to Toronto. You've never been one to hide Jude." Liam says looking her in the eye. "I don't understand why you would now." He says standing up to leave her to think about what he said. But looking back he says "But thats only what I think. Darius is right when he says this is your life and your choice. But I think you know what to do."_

_Liam left Jude sitting on her bed and part of her wanted to do what he said and just jump in her beetle and drive to the airport. But she had to consider the consequences._

Now here she was sitting in her room a month later and again everything was packed up. Walking out to the kitchen where Darius had been since he go here Jude sits down across from him and looks him straight in the eye.

"Darius. I know what I want to do."

**Toronto**

Tommy had been back at Toronto and G-Major for a month. He could honestly say he was surprised that he had done it. When he first got back and found out Jude was dead, Tommy figured that he would never be able to stay at G-Major without her.

He had a hard time at first. Coming back to G-Major and being the producer he was before. But he had done it. All of his artists helped him and Kwest and Sadie helped him too. So with help from everyone and everyone understanding. Tommy had gotten through it.

But the hardest thing was the Chrome Cat. Tommy hadn't gone back for almost a week after visiting Jude's grave. He just couldn't bring himself to go through everything. And when he finally did go back was because Sadie and Kwest offered to help him. So one day all three of them went at just sat in her apartment with Tommy. Just letting him get used to being there.

After that Tommy went by himself.

He didn't really know what to do with everything though. He didn't want to just sell it or give it away to a charity, because that would be like throwing Judes life away, even if it was for a good cause. But if he kept it what would he do with it?

So Tommy had boxed eveything up and left it in the apartment for the time being. Until he came back at least.

Walking out of Studio A to find Liam Tommy saw Darius leaning down and talking to Sadie. Walking up behind him "Hey how was the latest business trip?" Tommy asks.

"Oh hey Tom." Darius says turning around. "How's it going man? Things here at G-Major going smooth."

"Yeah everything has gone good. I mean you just left a four days ago and Liam came back that night. So it wasn't like I was running things alone for to long." Tommy says looking at Darius. "So is Liam here too, or did he have to leave?"

"No he's here." Darius says walking to Liam's office. "Why would you ask if Liam had to leave?"

"Oh I don't know. It just seems like whenever one of you comes back, the other had to leave right away."

"Well no I don't think Liam had any reason to leave." Darius says looking into Liam's office where he was at his desk on the phone. Looking up Liam holds up his hand, signaling that he would only be a minute.

Walking into the office Tommy and Darius sit down and wait for him to get done. Hanging up the phone Liam looks over at them "So what's wrong?"

"Oh I don't know. Tommy said he wanted to tell us something." Darius says looking at Tommy.

"Yeah umm I was just wondering if I could have a little vacation. All my artists are caught up with their work and whatever help they need Kwest can handle." Tommy says looking out the door at the lounge area where Speiderman was playing his guitar and trying to come up with a new song.

Tommy remember how Jude used to do that. Lay out anywhere around the building and started writing. He had so many memories of her at this place. Most of them were happy and made him smile. That was until he realized that there would only be memories left for this place. Which is why he needed to get away for a little bit. To clear his mind and try and move on. Looking back at Liam and Darius Tommy realized they were saying something and he had missed it.

"Tom. You ok?" Darius asks giving him a worried look.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I...It's just that there's so many memories of her here. I need to get away for a little while. I will come back I promise."

"When will you come back though?" Liam asks.

"I don't know. I won't be gone as long as before."

"Well T. I'de like it if you would stay and work through things with your friends here, but I can understand you needing to get away for awile." Darius says standing up. "So you can have your vacation. You won't be missing much around here anyways. Just take care of yourself man. And I can't wait to see you back here."

"Thanks D and thank you Liam." Tommy says standing and walking out of the room. He had one more goodbye to say before he left Toronto. Walking out of G-Major Tommy hops into his viper and heads to his apartment to grab his bags.

Back in Liam's office Darius and Liam are just sitting there looking at the desk. Finally one of them speaks.

"So is she taken care of?" Liam asks

"Yeah. Haven't talked to her since she got on her plane." Darius replies while standing up and shutting the door.

"So what did she decide?"

"I don't know she didn't tell me."

"What! And you just let her go and hop on a plane to god knows where!" Liam shouts.

"I told her she needed to let me know what she decided. She just told me that I would have to wait and see."

"See what?"

"She told me that if she is going to stay dead and in hiding that it would be better and easier if I didn't know where she was going. She thinks that if she is going to stay dead that I don't need to know where she's going."

"And if she is going to come back to Toronto?" Liam asks calming down. He should've known Jude was going to do this.

"She said if she's coming back to Toronto that I will see her when she gets back." Darius says shrugging.

"So what do you think she chose to do?"

"Honestly. With Jude. I have no idea what she would choose." Darius says shaking his head.

"Well I think she's coming back." Liam says

"Yeah well I hope she comes back." Darius replies before standing to leave.

**Calvary Lutheran Cemetary**

Tommy had been to his apartment and picked up his bags. Now he was going to say goodbye to Jude and then he would be off for his vacation.

He hadn't been back to the cemetary since that first time and he wasn't really looking forward to being back. But even though Tommy hadn't been there for a month, he walked towards Jude's grave like he was just there yesterday.

He saw new flowers on her grave. The same as before, lilies and dasies. Tommy wondered who was bringing the flowers. He figured it was probably Sadie or maybe Stuart. Walking up from behind the grave Tommy stops to take a deep breath and closes his eyes before walking around the headstone. Where once again he stops and gets ready to do what he does best. Say goodbye. Open his eyes his eyes Tommy lets out the breath he had been holding in. "Jude..."

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Ok guys how was it? I hoped you all liked it! Please review and tell me what you think. It really means a lot to read what you guys have to say! But thanks again for reading!


	13. Tommy & Jude

**Ok! Hi I'm back! I'm sorry that it took so long to get the next chapter up, but I was out of town with no computer this weekend. So here is chapter 13 that you've all been waiting for! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.**

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Opening his eyes Tommy lets out the breath he had been holding in. "Jude..."

And then he stops. What is he suppose to say? He's leaving her again. Yes she may not be there in the flesh and bone, but her memory is. He can't believe he's saying goodbye again when he's only been there a month. But at least this time he knew he was coming back. So Tommy takes a deep breath and starts again.

"Jude I miss you. It's been really hard this last month being back and trying to act as if it doesn't affect me that you're gone. G-Major without you just isn't the same as I thought it would be. Hell. Life without you isn't the same." Tommy stops to take a deep breath. He didn't realize how hard this was going to be. "I love you. I could never tell you that before. I guess I always figured I would have time later to tell you. But I was wrong. So now all I can do is say this and hope that you're listening." Tommy has to sit down because he feels a little bit dizzy.

"You always were so brave and brazen. You honestly scared me sometimes with the way you faced life as if you were invincible. You always told people how you felt, whether it was in song or just speaking. Even when you were nervous or scared you still spoke out. Not everyone does that. You…You were special Jude." Tommy has to stop and take a second before he can continue.

"If there ever was anything I wish I could take back it was how I kept you at arms length all that time instead of holding you close like I wanted. That was my biggest mistake of all and you knew it." Tommy says laughing. "You were the smart one when it came to you and I. You didn't care about what everyone else thought. You knew that our love was all that mattered. You tried telling me so many times too. I'm sorry for not listening to you. You were right…as usual." Standing up to leave Tommy puts a hand down on Jude's headstone.

"I'm leaving girl. Not for good or anything like that, but just for awhile. I need to get away from everything, all the memories. I know it's the cowardly thing to do, but what can I say? I have always been a coward when it comes to you and I. I just wanted you to know. I need to get away from the memories and try to move on. I love you and will never be able to forget you, but I need to find a way to live with out feeling so empty inside. I miss you Jude." Walking away Tommy says goodbye for who knows how long.

Walking back to his Viper Tommy looks over in the passenger seat and he realizes it's empty. The journal was gone. Not quite sure if he packed it in one of his bags Tommy quickly jumps out and opens his trunk. Going through all of his bags Tommy still can't find the journal. He could've sworn he had it with him when he left his apartment.

Thinking back he remembers grabbing his one bags and carrying them down to the car. After that he when back up to his apartment and mad sure everything would be fine until he came back. He doesn't remember seeing it lying around anywhere and he knows that it wouldn't be very hidden since it was usually with him where ever he went. So he wasn't quite sure where it would be.

Deciding that maybe he might have overlooked it Tommy goes back to his apartment. Looking through all the rooms and he still can't find it. Sitting down Tommy can't believe he lost it. He had kept that to keep him close to Jude. It was his reminder of everything that happened between them.

Thinking back Tom remembers having it at the Chrome Cat well he was going through Jude's apartment. Not really wanting to go back there Tommy thinks a little bit harder about maybe it being at G-Major.

Deciding that he rather go to the Chrome Cat first since that's where the journal most likely is. Hopping into his car he pulls out onto the street and heads towards the Chrome Cat hoping that no one is there so he can get in and get out without having to explain his little vacation to anyone.

20 Minutes later Tommy pulls up to the Chrome Cat and he doesn't see any cars parked in front or in the ally. Taking a deep breath and letting it out Tommy gets out of his car and starts running to get inside. It had started to sprinkle not long after he had left his building and it had just kept raining harder and harder until now you could barely see to drive. Tommy wasn't too surprised. The weather matched his mood right now.

Shaking off the rain water Tommy gets into the elevator and hits the button to go down to Jude's apartment. While waiting Tommy can't help but feel like something isn't right. He didn't know what it was but there was that feeling in his stomach he sometimes gets. The last time he had felt it was when he got the phone call where no one had answered. Thinking that it was because he was leaving Tommy shrugged it off and then got off the elevator when the doors opened.

Walking into Jude's apartment Tommy realizes that the lights are on. Now that wasn't right because he remembered shutting them off when he had been there last. So someone had been down here that wasn't supposed to be. No one else had the key for this room. Looking around the apartment Tommy doesn't see anything that's out of place. All the boxes are packed up the and where he had left him. Quickly looking around the apartment again Tommy then realizes that the journal isn't there either.

Now that's not right. Tommy knew it would have to be here since he never brought it in with him to G-Major. Walking back to Jude's bedroom Tommy stops when he hears a noise, it sounds like a piano. Quickly rushing out to the living room Tommy stops when he sees that there is no one at the piano. There's no one else in the apartment. Thinking he's lost his mind Tommy starts heading back to Jude's room to look for the journal when he hears the same noise. This time though he knows where it's coming from, the rehearsal space.

Tommy relaxes because he realizes that it's just some one rehearsing which is normal. Deciding that the journal must be somewhere in the apartment Tommy keeps looking. While looking for it though he realizes he recognizes the song the person is playing. Stopping to listen more closely Tommy realizes that who ever is up there is playing Liar Liar. But it's not the normal revised version that they made after later on in the studio. It's the version that he and Jude had come up with while being locked in the Chrome Cat.

Tommy is confused because no one should know that version besides him and Jude. Rushing up to the rehearsal space Tommy can hear the song more clearly and knows without a doubt that it is Liar Liar.

Opening the door the Tommy doesn't even see anyone at first. The piano that Jude had put in was way in the back of the room and not really visible from the doorway. Walking in and shutting the door Tommy notices that the music has stopped playing. Walking back towards the piano Tommy doesn't see anyone sitting there either. Now he is really confused, because he knows he didn't imagine the song playing. Sitting down on the piano bench Tommy starts playing and then stops when he notices something moving in the shadow of the space. Not all the lights are on so it's kind of hard to see clearly.

Standing up and walking around the piano Tommy sees a blonde headed person and he freezes. No it can't be. It's not possible. Tommy disbelieving says "Jude? It can't be."

"Hi Tom." Jude says walking more into the light so Tommy can see it's really her. "Umm I think we need to talk."

**Ok everyone how was it? I know you probably hate me right now for leaving it right there. But I will have the next chapter up really soon I hope! So how about you guys go and review and tell me all about it! Thanks again for reading and especially for all who are reviewing!**


	14. No right

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry that it's been taking me longer to update my story. I usually try to get a chapter a day, but lately I've been sort of busy. And today was my 17th birthday and I thought that getting up a new chapter would be a great thing to do today! So I hope you all enjoy, because this is when Jude and Tommy finally meet and talk to each other! I can't wait to read your reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.**

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"Hi Tom." Jude says walking more into the light so Tommy can see it's really her. "Umm I think we need to talk."

Tommy just stands there. He can't believe that she's real. She isn't real. She can't be! Jude's dead. Everyone said so. Darius told me flat out himself that Jude had died. Everyone has been living with the fact Jude is dead!

So who is this person and why do they look Exactly like Jude? Do they not realize the hell they're going to put everyone through for being here and looking exactly like her? Tommy doesn't know what to think. He just knows that it can't be Jude.

"Who are you?" Tommy asks.

"Tommy. It's me! Jude." Jude says walking towards Tommy. Who just looks at her like she's an alien from outer space. "You couldn't have forgotten me?"

"You can't be Jude. Jude is dead." Tommy can't believe his eyes or his ears. Because he could've sworn that this Jude impersonator just say that she is in fact Jude. "So really now. Who are you?"

"Tommy it's me! I am Jude." Jude says taking another step towards Tommy who takes three steps back and runs into the piano. She can't believe he's acting like this. She figured he would be mad about her being alive and not telling him or that he might be happy to see she's alive. But she never thought he wouldn't believe her.

"Jude?" Tommy asks taking a step towards her to get a better look. He still could not understand how this was possible and didn't full heartedly believe that Jude was alive and in the Chrome Cat.

"Tommy it's me. I'm the same girl that won the first Instant Star and I'm the same one who almost made us both loose our jobs when Darius took over G-Major." Jude needs to take a deep breath and see if she's getting through to Tommy. He still doesn't quite believe so she continues with more intimate details of their past together. "I'm the girl you kissed on her 16th birthday and then took it back and then you kissed again in D's office after he approved my second album. I'm the girl you left standing in the middle of the street begging you to stay or at least tell me why you were leaving." Jude stops because after that the memories just get worse and worse.

"But they said you were dead." Tommy says trying to keep calm. He realized it was really Jude, but he still didn't know how it was possible. "Everyone told me you were; Sadie, Kwest, Darius, Liam, and everyone else."

"Well that's because they all thought I was dead, except for Darius and Liam anyway. They were the one's who helped me." Jude says walking towards Tom. She missed him. Even though she knew things were far from being settled she wanted to at least hug him. But Tommy wouldn't even let her near him. He just kept on walking away from her.

"Darius and Liam? Why? What the hell happened? I can't believe this!" Tommy says walking away from Jude to the center of the room where he starts to pace. He can't even look at her. Everything she had done to everyone was just too awful. "How could you do this to everyone? To me! Didn't you realize we would miss you!"

"Tommy you have to understand! I didn't fake my own death because I wanted to. I did it because I had to." Jude says walking up and grabbing his arm so he will stop and look at her.

Tommy just whips his arm out of Jude's grasp and takes a couple of steps back. He still doesn't know what to think about everything.

"Tommy, please don't act this way! You have to understand. Just listen to me!" Jude pleads with him.

"Understand what Jude?" Tommy says walking up to her so he's only inches apart from her. "That you left here without telling anyone you're alive except for Darius and Liam. Then you stay dead for about five months and come back and expect all of us to just nod our heads and act as if you never left? How are we supposed to do that?"

"I don't expect that Tommy. I know that I have lots of explaining to do. I know that faking my death is a horrible thing to do and if I had had any other choice then I would've gladly taken it. But there was no other choice Tom. That was it!"

"I don't believe that Jude. There had to be something else you could've done besides dying!"

"Well how would you know?" Jude asks finally letting her temper get the best of her. She couldn't believe that he thought he had a right to judge her and her actions. "You weren't here to help! You left, remember Tom?" Jude asks as she starts to pace herself. It was either that or she might end up hitting Tommy.

"This isn't about me Jude. This is about you and the stupid choices you make." Tommy says and wishing that he could take it back after he said it. Because he had no right to criticize anyone on the choices they make.

Jude stops pacing and turns and looks at Tommy like he is the scum of the earth. "Who the hell do you think you are?" Jude says walking over and pushing Tommy so he stumbles back a little ways. "Oh wait that's right! You're Little Tommy Q! The heartthrob! The Go to Guy for the music industry! You're Mr. Perfect aren't you Tommy? Well in your eyes you are anyway."

"Jude I didn't say that." Tommy says wanting to apologize.

"No and you didn't have to. But just to let you know. You have no right to tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my life. You lost any right you had the day you left me standing in the middle of the street."

"Jude, don't go there right now." Tommy says realizing that he should be the one mad and not the one feeling sorry for past mistakes.

Jude just stares at him for a second. "Oh that's right. We're talking about my mistakes and not yours. Isn't that right Tommy?" Jude says before beginning to pace again. "Well if were talking about my mistakes the least I can say is I've only made 7 big ones my whole life. Which is probably less than you've made in one year?" Jude says stopping to look at Tommy.

"What are your 7 mistakes?" Tommy asks. He knows it's off topic, but he wants to hear them anyways.

"Well mistake #1 is letting you be my producer. #2 would be kissing you that first night at the Vinyl Palace, which is when I started falling for you. #3 Is the whole Shay thing. #4 Is letting Darius become my manager in order for you to stay at G-Major. #5 Is letting you get between me and Sadie, Jamie, and Speed. #6 Is falling in love with you. And #7 Is letting your leaving affect me as badly as it did, because you obviously weren't worth it!" Jude says holding up her hands counting off all her mistakes on her fingers.

"You didn't mention anywhere in there your faking dead." Tommy says trying to hide that fact he's upset that Jude wishes she hadn't fallen in love with him.

"Because Tommy that wasn't a mistake. That was something that needed to be done." Jude says wishing she could take back some of what she just said, because she didn't mean it. She doesn't look at loving Tommy as a mistake.

"I don't believe that Jude. You didn't' have to pretend you were dead. You hurt a lot of people by doing that."

"Tommy, the only person you care about right now is you. But that shouldn't surprise me, because that's all you ever care about." Jude says sitting down. She was tired. She hadn't slept or relaxed since deciding she was coming back to Toronto.

"You're wrong Jude." Tommy says before he starts heading to the door. He can't be around her right now. That isn't Jude. The real Jude wouldn't have been pretending to be dead and she wouldn't come back and hide out in the Chrome Cat.

Tommy didn't know this Jude. She wasn't the girl he has loved and missed for 9 months that's for sure. He just hoped that she was somewhere deep inside this imposter. "You're wrong." Tommy says again for good measure before opening the door to leave. "Because I care about you Jude. I always have." He says over his shoulder before shutting the door behind him. "I love you." Tommy says after the door is shut tight and he's starting to walk away. Before leaving the Chrome Cat Tommy goes back down stairs to Jude's apartment to leave the keys. He doesn't need or want them anymore.

Jude's back and so she can take back over the building. As of right now Tommy wants nothing to do with Jude or her belongings. It's to hard to know that this whole time Jude had been alive and she hadn't trusted him to help protect her from whatever she was hiding from.

Walking out of the Chrome Cat into the rain Tommy doesn't even try to hurry to his car so he doesn't get soaked. He doesn't care. Getting into his Viper Tommy doesn't know what he's going to do. He can't go on vacation now. He needs to at least stay and see what's going to happen. Starting the car Tommy just starts driving and he's going to see where he ends up.

Jude stood up in the rehearsal space and was looking out the window when she saw what she assumed was Tommy walking to his car, practically ignoring the rain around him. She was trying so hard to stop from crying. She thought if anyone was going to understand and listen to what she had to say, that it would be Tommy. But he didn't seem to really care about her. Even though he said he did. Jude didn't know what to do.

If Tommy wasn't going to be there for her then she didn't know if she was going to be able to handle being in Toronto. Turning away from the window to leave Jude doesn't know where she's going. She doesn't even know if she wants to stay in Toronto anymore.

**Ok I hope you all liked it! I know that I keep leaving the chapters at horrible spots. But thanks for reading and I hope you all review I love to read your reviews. But thanks again!**


	15. Understanding

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry it took me so long to update on this story. This chapter was hard to write because I didn't have a lot of ideas to go on. So I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. Enjoy and I can't wait to read what you have to say!**

**Special thanks to those who are reviewing! It means so much to read what you guys have to say. You are the ones that keep this story going! So thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the characters.**

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If Tommy wasn't going to be there for her then she didn't know if she was going to be able to handle being in Toronto. Turning away from the window to leave Jude doesn't know where she's going. She doesn't even know if she wants to stay in Toronto anymore.

Before leaving the rehearsal space Jude went down to her apartment to see what was left of the place. She figured they would've boxed up and gotten rid of everything. Darius had gotten her most of her clothes so she didn't have to buy new clothes in Ada. So when Jude opened the door to her apartment she was surprised to see that it wasn't empty.

They hadn't really done anything to the place. All of her belongings were boxed up but they all were still there. And none of her furniture was gone. Walking back to the kitchen Jude sees that everything is still there that was before.

Jude couldn't believe it. They had left her apartment the same. Tommy had left her apartment the same.

Walking back into the living room Jude notices her wall of pictures. They're all still there. Starting to cry again Jude goes and sits down on the piano bench to look more closely. Because those pictures is all she had left of her happy life before the drunken night.

Laying her head down on the piano keys Jude cries herself to sleep. Not even carrying that her neck would be in pain when she woke up and really not carrying if anyone else found her there. Because she knew Tommy wasn't going to stay quiet about seeing her.

Tommy's pov

Tommy had been driving around Toronto for almost an hour when he realized he would have to stop and get gas soon or he was going to be walking. Pulling into the nearest gas station Tommy gets out of his viper and goes to the gas pump so he could pay. The machine won't let him so he just shakes his head and presses the button to pay inside when he was done.

While standing next to his car Tommy is thinking about everything Jude had said. He just couldn't believe that her faking dead would be the only option she had. Nothing could've been that bad or that serious to have her take that drastic of measure. Besides the Jude he knew would never have backed down from a fight. The Jude he knew was scared of nothing and never would think of hiding.

After the viper was filled Tommy goes into the gas station to pay the guy so he could leave. Walking into the station Tommy realizes he might be here for awhile. The person behind the counter is a girl, who doesn't even look 17, named Mindy and she's on her cell phone talking away and not paying attention to him.

Deciding that he's thirsty Tom goes back to the coolers and grabs himself a water and walks back up to the counter. Nope the girl still isn't paying attention to him. Now not only is Mindy on her phone talking she is now painting her nails a bright bubble gum pink color.

Deciding to give Mindy a few moments more on the phone Tom goes to see if they have any licorice. He's not in to best of moods and he could use the comfort food right now. Walking back up to the counter Tom sees that she is still on the phone but is now done with her nails. Coming closer to the counter he sees the newspaper and notices the headline.

**Trial starts in 3 days on the suspected blackmailer of the first Instant Star winner Jude Harrison. For more on this story please turn to page 4.**

Dropping the licorice and water on the counter Tommy picks up the paper. He has finally gotten the attention of Mindy, but he doesn't care anymore. Throwing a $50 down on the counter Tom walks out of the gas station leaving the water and licorice behind.

Turning to page 4 Tommy finds the story which is a few paragraphs long.

**About 5 months ago first Instant Star winner Jude Harrison had went to the police filing a complaint about having a blackmailer. At that time she would make no comment on what she was being blackmailed for and there is still no record for why she was being blackmailed. The publicist at her recording studio G-Major would also give no comment. But Jude's manager Darius Mills did hold a press conference where all he would say was "That G-Major studio's is standing behind Jude 100 and that they do plan to catch whoever this guy is." But he would make no comment as to why Jude was being blackmailed. **

**Not long after Ms. Harrison filed her complaint she got into a horrible car accident where she died after complications during surgery. The police ruled it accidental since there were no signs of foul play or markings of another car. Even after Ms. Harrison's death the police kept searching for her blackmailer and believed to have caught him about a month ago.**

**One month ago Corwin Black was brought in on charges of blackmail and stalking the late Ms. Harrison. Mr. Black pleaded not guilty at his hearing and bail was set at one million dollars. Black didn't have the funds to post bail and was held in Hodgsons Prison for the last month.**

**Black's trial will be starting in 3 days. When interviewing both the defense and prosecuting attorneys neither would say what witnesses or evidence would be brought in the trial, but the defense attorney George Wasnuk did say that he felt the prosecutions case was weak and circumstantial and he felt his client is being wrongly accused. We asked prosecuting attorney Craig Esala how he felt about Mr. Wasnuks comment. Esala just replied that he wasn't worried and felt his case is very strong.**

Tommy read the whole article and he just wanted to scream. How could he not have heard about any of this happening! He may have been stuck in a small town in the middle of nowhere Montana, but he still got the paper there and what about the news. Furious Tommy starts his car and he knows exactly where he's going.

10 minutes later Tommy pulls up to G-Major and is almost shocked he didn't get pulled over for speeding. Hopping out of his car he sees both Darius and Liam's cars in the parking lot and is happy to know that he was right about where the two would be. Storming into the building Tommy sees that the place is empty and dark except for the light coming from the conference room.

Walking in Tom doesn't even bother to knock and he notices that he has caught both Darius and Liam off guard.

"T? What are you doing here? I thought you were going on a vacation." Darius asks standing up.

Tommy doesn't even answer he just walks up to Darius and punches him right in the middle of his face. Darius falls back into his seat and looks at Tommy neither saying a word to the other.

Liam however jumps from his chair and shouts. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you Quincy!" Before he leaves the room to fetch someone to help with Darius, who's nose has started to bleed.

"It's no use Liam. Everyone has gone home." Tommy shouts after him following Liam out of the conference room Darius not far behind him.

While Liam is going to his office Tommy grabs Darius's arm and leads him to the kitchenette where he hands him a towel filled with ice.

Liam walks out to join them and he looks at Tommy. "Will you please explain to me now why you barge in and punch Darius without saying a word."

Tommy doesn't reply he just stares at both of them and wonders if they even know that Jude is back. Neither of them are acting as if the do. And you would think if they did know then they would want Jude to come to G-Major before going out and being seen. Tommy is about to reply when Darius lifts his hand to stop him.

"Let me guess T. You've seen Jude." Darius says lowering the towel to look at Tommy. Who just looks down at the ground.

"Yeah I saw Jude." Tommy finally says looking at Darius.

"Where is she?" Liam asks pulling out his cellphone.

"The Chrome Cat." Tommy says turning to look at him. "I was getting ready to go and I heard someone playing in the rehearsal space." Tommy says walking away to the lounge area where he sits down on one of the couches. Darius and Liam have no choice but to follow him. Shrugging his shoulders Tom continues talking almost like D and Liam weren't even there.

"I decided to check it out and see who was there. I walk in and the place is empty. For a second I thought I was crazy, but then I saw someone hiding in the shadows." Looking up Tommy is kinda shocked to see Liam and Darius sitting across from him. He didn't know that they had followed him.

"So it was Jude?" Liam asks. Tommy just wonders how he could be so dense.

"Of course it was Jude." Tom says leaning back. "At first I thought I was dreaming. But I wasn't. I almost wish I had."

"That still doesn't explain why you decided to punch Darius." Liam says confused.

Tommy just looks over at D who is surprisingly quiet. Darius wasn't looking at either of them. He didn't look like he was even paying attention. Finally looking up at Tommy Darius just nods his head before looking over at Liam.

"Don't you get it Liam?" Darius says standing up and walking back over to the kitchenette. "He knows why Jude was faking dead and he knows that we helped her."

All of them were so caught up with their conversation that they didn't hear the door open in the back and they didn't notice anyone entering the building. But they didn't notice the shocked, hurt and outraged voice.

"What do you mean Jude was faking dead!"

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**Ok! I hope you guys liked the chapter! Like I said this was a harder chapter to write. So I hope I did a good job! So R&R to let me know how I could improve. Thanks for reading!**


	16. where are you?

**Hey everyone! Sorry I took so long updating. I just don't know what to do with this story. I am having trouble coming up with ideas. That evil writer's block just won't go away! **

**But anyways. Here is the next chapter. I hope I did a good job and you guys won't be to disappointed! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.**

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"What do you mean Jude was faking dead!"

Liam and Darius both jump and turn to see A very upset Sadie standing not even 10 feet away with a very confused Kwest right behind her.

"Sadie!" Liam says walking over and taking her hand trying to lead her to the couch. But Sadie would have none of it.

"No! Someone is going to explain to me right now! Why my sister would be faking dead."

"And we will. Just come and sit down Sadie." Darius says pointing to the couch. Sadie nods her head and grabbing on to Kwest's arm she pulls him with her.

"I don't think I should be here for this. This seems like a more personal issue and I'm just your boyfriend." Kwest whispers to Sadie who just shakes her head and looks back at him.

"You are more than that. You're my support system and right now I could use all the support I can get." She says and Kwest just hangs his head and follows Sadie knowing that he has lost this argument.

Sitting down Sadie leans forward and looks right at Darius. "Ok now. Why would Jude be faking dead and where is she now?" Sadie is trying really hard to keep control of her self, but it was really hard. Jude was her sister, her own flesh and blood. Yes they weren't the closest sisters in the world, but Sadie had felt that they had bonded after Tommy had left. So why was it she hadn't known about this?

"Sadie I think if we're going to have this conversation that we should wait for Jude." Liam says since no one else would say anything.

"I don't want to wait. I want some answers!" Sadie says looking back at Kwest hoping to have him ready to back her up, but he wasn't looking at Sadie or Liam. He was looking over his shoulder at very quiet Tommy.

Turning her head to see what Kwest was looking at Sadie loses some of the anger she had had.

When she had first heard Tom say that Jude wasn't dead she was confused, but then when she heard Darius say Jude was faking she got pissed. How could all three of them lie to her that easily about something so serious! Now looking at Tommy she realized that he probably just found out too.

"Hey T are you ok man?" Kwest ask really worried about him. He hadn't seen Tommy looking so broken or upset since he first got back and heard about Jude. Kwest got even more worried when Tom didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact he was spoken to. Tommy just kept on looking off into space.

Finally Darius decides to talk. "Sadie we will explain everything to you, but first I want to see Jude and I think she should be the one to tell you the whole story. You shouldn't have to hear this from me and Liam." Then turning away from her Darius ask Liam "Have you gotten a hold of Jude yet?"

"No I've tried calling her cell phone, but there is now answer there and I tried the phone at her apartment and it says it's out of service."

"That's because we unhooked the phone when we were packing up the apartment. There hasn't been a working phone in there for awhile." Kwest says when no one said anything. He was a little uncomfortable sitting here. He wasn't family and he and Jude had gotten to know each other and he considered them friends but he still didn't think he should be there in the middle of everything.

"Well that's just great. How are we supposed to get a hold of her?" Liam asks looking at Darius.

"She has to have her cell phone with her. Just try calling that again." Darius says standing up to get a bottle of water. After closing the fridge he looks at Tommy who was leaning against the counter. "Are you ok T. You seem awfully quiet."

Tommy doesn't say anything. He just looks over at Darius. What was he supposed to say? There was nothing he could say. He was mad about the fact Jude had lied to everyone, but he was also sad that Jude had to do what she did.

Tommy was mostly angry. Angry at Darius and Liam for lying to everyone, angry at Jude for doing this to everyone, but mostly he was angry with himself. He hadn't been there when Jude had probably needed him the most. And that thought was what's going through his mind.

He had let her down, again.

Pushing off the counter Tommy stands up straight. "She probably won't be answering her phone right now."

"And why not?" Liam asks with an accusing look. He knows that whatever the reason is it has something to do with Tommy. Everything that involves Jude involves Tommy some way or another.

"Because we got into a little bit of a fight." Tommy says looking down at the ground. Thinking back he can't believe how he reacted. Yeah he was shocked by seeing the love of his life alive after being told she had been dead for 5 months, but that doesn't give him a reason to be a jerk to her.

"How little of a fight Tom?" Darius asks knowing that with Jude and Tommy that nothing is little.

"Ok it was pretty big fight." He says looking at Darius. "I yelled at her for doing this to everyone and she yelled back at me that I didn't care about anyone but myself." Going to sit down across from Sadie Tommy closes his eyes and thinks back to not even and hour ago. "She told me that I didn't care about anyone and I stormed out of there."

"Oh my god!" Sadie shrieks before leaning forward and slapping Tommy. "How could you yell at her and blame her Tommy! Didn't you think that she had a reason for doing what she did!" Sadie leans forward to slap him again, but Kwest grabs her arm and pulls her back.

"I know that now. But come on! Like you would've acted any better than me if you had saw Jude?" Tommy says which gets Sadie to shut up. Because he's right and they all know it.

"You're right Tommy. I probably would've yelled at Jude too. What she did is horrible, but there has to be a good reason for why she did it." Sadie says nodding her head a looking back at Kwest for encouragement. "But the thing is. Jude is a very emotional person and probably didn't react well to being yelled at by someone she loves."

"And she has always worried about your opinion the most man." Kwest points out once he realizes what Sadie is getting at.

Tommy just nods his head, because he knows what they're getting at. Obviously Liam isn't a smart as he thought because he was lost. "What are you people trying to say?"

"What they're trying to say Liam." Darius says leaning out the counter and putting his head into hands "Is that Jude is probably not taking Tommy's yelling at her real well and that she might end up leaving Toronto."

At hearing that Liam turns to the three on the couches and gives them a pleading look. "Please tell me you guys are joking. Jude wouldn't leave just because she got in a fight." When none of them said anything Liam quickly hits speed dial #5 on his cell phone and listens as it rings. Finally after the 6th ring it goes to voicemail. "Hey you've reached Jude Harrison's cell. Obviously I'm to busy to answer or I just don't want to talk to you. So leave your message and I'll consider getting back to you Bye!" Liam just pulls the phone away from his ear and lets out a very ungentlemanly growl.

"Jude where are you?"

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**Ok! There is chapter 16! I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks again for reading and special thanks to those reviewing!**


	17. instincts

**Ok everyone I am SO SO SO sorry that it's been 2 weeks since I've posted anything on either story. I have had the worst writers block and I still am struggling to come up with the next chapter. I worked really hard on this one and I hope you guys all enjoy it. **

**I'm going to say quickly thank you to those who have sent me messages and are reviewing and asking where I am. I'm just really busy right now with my junior year of high school starting and everything else going on. **

**Just thank you it means a lot to read what you guys have to say!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the characters.**

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Jude woke up and was surprised to find herself in her apartment. Sitting up straighter she quickly stops to rub her neck because it's sore after being stuck in one position for so long of time. Looking around she sees her apartment and that everything is packed up in boxes, which reminds her of why she had come down to the apartment in the first place, Tommy.

Pulling out her cell phone to see how long she was asleep she sees that she has 8 missed phone calls. Deciding she'll check her messages later Jude looks at the time and she sees that she's been asleep for almost 3 hours. Jude isn't very surprised. For the last week she hadn't been getting much sleep since it was getting so close to when she finally had to decide what to do. So she would have to catch up on that at some point between recording and the trial.

Just as Jude was starting to make up a schedule for what she had to do she remembers the fight she had with Tommy and any enthusiasm she had before was just gone. How would she be able to record again at G-Major with him there, but not there as her producer? She couldn't. So that left two options for her. She could march into G-Major and tell Darius that she needed Tommy as her producer, even if he doesn't want to produce her. Or she could just run away from her problems and not sing or record ever again.

Not wanting to make any rash decisions Jude decides she should talk to Darius first and see what he has to say. Having that problem semi-solved Jude sets out to start unpacking some of her stuff. So she sits down on the couch and grabs the closest box to her and she opens it.

The very first thing she sees is a picture of SME, Jamie, Sadie, Tommy and herself after Denim Jackets of Hope. They're all in a huddle so they could fit into the picture. Jude remembers that picture well, because it had been a challenge to get Jamie and Speed willing to pose together and a even bigger challenge to get Tommy to pose in the picture with SME and Jamie. Jude just smiles because after it was taken Tommy had told her to burn the negatives and to not show it to anyone, because he didn't want to be seen hanging with the kindergarteners a.k.a. SME.

Jude then realizes looking at the picture that Tommy has known about her being alive for three hours! He has had three hours to tell anyone about her being alive and knowing Tommy and how mad he was, he probably would tell everyone. Jude quickly grabs her cell and hits the voicemail button.

The first two messages are from Liam "Jude it's just Liam here, wondering where you are. Darius tells me you decided what you wanted to do and we were just wondering if you had decided to come back to Toronto or not. Give me a call as soon as you get this."

He must have left those two around them time she had landed in Toronto. She knew at the time when she told Darius that she wasn't going to tell him her decision that she was being childish. But she thought she had a right to after everything that had happened. The reason she did it was because if he knew she was coming back he would want to do a big press thing and make it as easy as possible on her and he would've just handled it all wrong. Because when she decided she wanted to come home she wanted to ease into the being home. She also knew that if she had decided on going into hiding for good he would want to set her up great. But if Jude was going to go into hiding she would just want to cut all ties right away. It would've just been easier to do it in secret.

The next three were also from Liam, but this time he didn't sound so calm. "Hi, umm Jude. This is Liam again. Me and Darius are here at G-Major with Mr. Quincy and he's told us that you're alive and in Toronto. Well, umm I was wondering if you would please call and let us know what is going on. Or even better come over to G-Major because we'll be here."

His next message was even more frantic sounding. "Jude could you please call. We really need to talk. Sadie and Kwest are hear and they now know. So please call, come by, whatever. Just talk to us!"

And his last one was short and sweet and to the point. "Jude! Where are you? You're scaring us. Call!"

Jude was going to hang up figuring that that was the end but the messages kept coming. "Jude? I got this number from Darius he said you never cancelled the phone, just changed the name it was under. Where are you? Are you ok? Please call me. Come see me. I don't know what to think right now. I miss you! I-I love you Jude. Please call me." Jude had to really fight the tears after hearing Sadie's message. She knew it would be hard on Sadie when she found out, Jude just wishes she could've been the one to tell Sadie and not the pig headed, cold hearted, and self centered Tommy.

Jude wasn't surprised when she heard the beep saying that this was the last message, but she was surprised when she heard who had left the message. "Hey Jude, its Tom. I know you are probably really mad at me and you have every right, but so do I Jude. I'm not going to explain myself to your answering machine, but just to let you know, when I found out you were dead it almost killed me. I'm sorry for how I acted, but I wasn't thinking. So please don't do anything crazy. Please call Liam, Darius, Sadie, or me. Stop by G-Major we're all still here. But if you do anything call Sadie she is really upset. Well bye."

Jude couldn't believe it. Tommy had sounded so hurt, like he felt how she had felt so many times in there relationship. She wanted to cry. Looking at her call log she sees that Tommy had called about an hour ago. She doubted that they would still be there since it was 9 pm and no one was recording, but she would drive by and see at least.

Running outside Jude sees that the rain had died down to a slow, light drizzle, and it had gotten really dark since Tom had stormed out of the Chrome Cat. Jude walks the block to where she parked her rental car and she hops in. The radio starts up and Jude hears the beginning chords of her song "There's Us"

_**There's me  
Looking down at my shoes  
The one smiling like the sun  
That's you  
What were you thinking  
What was the song inside your head  
There's us  
Going on about a band  
Working out how we play our hand  
I lay there dreaming  
Later all alone in my bed**_

If I was stupid  
Maybe careless  
So were you

Jude remembers writing this song. It was one of the many times that she was frustrated with Tommy and of course she had to release that pent up energy and frustration into a song. Thinking back she can't even remember when exactly she had written "There's Us."

_**  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
And that's enough  
There's us  
**_

The memory of this song that stands out in Jude's head is the night of her release party where, instead of singing in front of dozens of corporate suits and publicity people, she had ran to Berry to be with Mason. The memory Jude has with this song is being heartbroken because Tommy had left her.

_**  
Freeze-frame  
I'm not about to cry  
It's too late for us to change  
Why try  
I've got a camera  
Tucked away inside my heart**_

If I'm a loser  
Or just unlucky  
So are you  


Jude remembers feeling so lost and hopeless driving to Berry and not even caring that she might be inadvertently wrecking her career. She had only cared about getting to where she might find comfort.

_**  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
And that's enough**_

She thought she had found comfort in the nameless stranger. For awhile there he had been really great, helping her out and comforting her.

But Jude should've realized that she shouldn't have trusted him. Because she had the worst instincts when it comes to spotting someone she could trust and someone she should steer clear from.

_**  
There's us  
**_

Just look at her history with people.

_**  
Somewhere between then and now  
I look away when you said we'll never change  
And if you think what might have been  
You'll lose today and we've got songs to play  
**_

First there's Shay, who everyone told her she shouldn't trust. Well not everyone, just Tommy told her she shouldn't trust him. But was he wrong? No! Shay ended up breaking her heart and causing tabloid drama on her 16th birthday.

Next you have Kat.

_**  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
And that's enough  
**_

Ok the whole Kat thing is partially her fault, because she hooked up with Jamie and she did kind of get in between their relationship. But that just shows how great she was at picking and keeping friends.

Besides the whole Kat thing, there are Jude's parents.

If there is one person in the world you should be able to trust it should be your parents. But Jude couldn't really trust either one.

Dad had and affair with Evette which broke apart the family. And mom ran off with Don and sold the house and pretty much abandoned her family.

And finally there is the one person Jude had trusted more than anyone else, even if he didn't deserve it sometimes. Jude had trusted him so blindly and so full-heartedly. She had had more faith in this one person than anyone else and he was the one that had probably hurt her the most.

_**There's us**_

And he was Tommy.

_**  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
And that's enough  
**_

She had loved him so much. That is hurt some times

_**There's us**_

And she still does.

**Ok there it is the next chapter. I hope you guys all enjoyed it.!**

**I'm going to say again that I'm super sorry about the long time between my last update and this one. I just have horrible writers block and then I'm back in school. So just stick with me I'm going to try and update every weekend.**

**Thank you to everyone who is still reading and special thanks to those reviewing! It means so much!**


	18. Reunion

**Ok so I feel like a horrible person for taking almost a month to post more. I'm so So SO sorry for taking so long. I'm just hitting a wall here with this story and it's hard to write a chapter. **

**But here it is the next chapter I hope you guys all enjoy it! Thank you so so much for those who have stuck with me in this story even though I've been MIA for awhile. So thank you and hopefully this chapter makes up for not posting. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.**

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Jude had to pull over for a second to calm down. That song was just to big of a reminder of everything. Taking deep breaths Jude goes to turn the station, but stops when the announcer comes on.

"Ok everyone you were just listening to "There's Us" by Jude Harrison. Toronto's own first Instant Star. For those of you who haven't heard Ms. Harrison has been nominated for a grammy as Best New Female Artist and then her other song "White Lines" has been nominated as well."

Jude can't believe it. A grammy! How in the world hadn't she heard about this. Darius should've told her. She could be winning not one, but two grammy's! Jude is speechless, she had no idea. Starting up her car Jude decides it's time to face the music. Time to face Tommy.

Meanwhile at G-Major

Kwest walks into Tommy's dark office. "So this is where you've been hiding for the last hour." He says when he sees Tommy leaning back in his chair holding a picture. "What are ya doing in here all alone?"

"I had to be alone to think. Being out there with you four was to hard." Tommy says laying the picture face down. "What are you guys doing out there?"

"Oh nothing. Darius and Liam keep on arguing about who's fault this is and then take turns calling Jude." Kwest says sitting down on Tommy's desk. "And Sadie is just sitting in the lounge waiting for Jude."

"Why don't you take her home. She shouldn't be waiting around here."

"I've tried that. She won't leave." Kwest says shaking his head. "She keeps telling me that Jude is going to show up here and she wants to be here when she does."

"What makes her so sure?"

"These are Sadie's words exactly. For two years Jude lived and breathed G-Major and the music she made. This is where she is going to show up at first. I don't want to go home and miss my sister. So until Jude shows up here Sadie's not leaving" Kwest says shaking his head.

"Yeah well that's true. This place was like Jude's home." Tommy says looking around his office and the memories he has with Jude in G-Major.

For awhile neither of them said anything and they just sat there in silence. Finally Kwest looks over at Tommy who is looking at the picture again. "Ok man I have to ask, what is that picture of?" Kwest says leaning forward to grab it.

"It's nothing Kwest just a picture." Tommy says setting it down on the other side of his computers, further away from Kwest.

Kwest just looks at Tommy than looks away shaking his head. "So Jude's alive huh?"

"Yeah. Big surprise!"

"So what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean, what am I going to do?"

"Well about Jude."

"Nothing. that's what I'm going to do."

"What do you mean you're going to do nothing. Tommy Jude's alive. She's back. Don't you realize that?"

"Yes I realize that Kwest. I'm not stupid! I saw and touched her. I talked to her." Tommy says feeling slightly annoyed.

"So are you going to do anything about it? I mean when you came back you were going to try and start up where you guys left off. So now what?"

"Now nothing. I don't care what Jude does."

"What Tommy you can't be serious."

"I am Kwest. I don't care what Jude does, we're out of each others lives."

"So what if she comes back here to record, then what. Will you be back in each others lives then?"

"Nope. If Jude does come back here then you're going to be her producer and I'll be taking Mason and we'll share Patsy. I don't need to produce Jude, she obviously doesn't need me."

"Oh come on Tom that's bullshit. You know that you and Jude are meant to be. You say this now, but in under month you two will be back at the whole secret love affair. So why don't you just produce her right away and save the trouble of switching producers."

"Because you're wrong Kwest. I don't want to produce Jude anymore. Things have changed."

"What's changed? From what I can tell things are turning in to your favor. Jude's alive! You should be happy. So what's with this whole doom and gloom thing?"

"What's changed is Jude faked her death! She isn't the Jude that I love! She isn't the Jude I came back for and she isn't the Jude I've been missing!"

"What do you mean she isn't Jude? Of course she is."

"No Kwest. The Jude I loved never would've run and hid from her problems like that. She would've faced them head on. She would've been the bold, obnoxious, loud, and smartass we all know."

"Tom we don't know everything yet. Don't you think you should hear her side of the story before you judge her. Maybe she had a good reason to do what she did. Haven't you read the papers lately? This Corwin Black or whatever is probably the reason she had to hide."

"I don't care. She still faked her own death. She lied to everyone."

"Well you aren't one to judge Tom. Lets look at your track record." Kwest says disbelieving Tommy's high and might attitude. "How many times have you lied, cheated, and let someone down? Hey I'll make it easier on you. How many times have you hurt just Jude?"

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to you bash on me. I don't deserve this." Tom says standing up.

"No you're right." Kwest says stopping Tommy by grabbing his arm. "We're all just hurting."

"You're right though." Tommy says surprising Kwest. "I have hurt Jude. Over and over I've hurt her. And she's always found a way to forgive me. But Kwest she faked her death! She pretended to be dead." Tommy says breaking down.

"Tom it's ok to be mad. It's ok to be sad. You're hurting. You love Jude and it's just a stressful situation that's all." Kwest says pulling Tommy into a hug.

Tom pulls away from Kwest. "I know it's ok to be mad. But you're wrong Kwest."

"About what?"

"I don't love Jude anymore. I moved on. Remember? I had to." Tommy says. Kwest is going to reply, but they get interupted by Liam.

"Hey Jude just walked in from the ally." Then he was gone probably to go find Darius.

Tommy and Kwest just look at each other then Kwest decides to say one last thing. "I don't believe you you know?"

Tommy just nods his head. "I know you don't. But there are just some things you can't forgive." Then he walks out, leaving Kwest sitting on his desk.

Before standing up to leave Kwest looks over at the picture that's lying face down and decides that what Tommy doesn't know won't hurt him. Picking up the picture Kwest lets out one short laugh and shakes his head. "Yeah he doesn't love her anymore."

Setting down the picture of Jude's going away party, the one where Tommy was kissing Jude on the cheek. Kwest walks out of the office and into the lounge area where he expects to find Jude and Sadie doing a major hug fest, family reunion.

What he finds instead is Jude and Tommy having a starring match from opposite sides of the lounge. Leaning down next to Sadie on the couch Kwest asks "How long has this been going on?"

"Since Tom walked out of his office and into the lounge. Jude was trying to apologize and then she froze and then we all turned to see Tommy and we all froze and then you came in and saw us all frozen watching those two stare at each other."

"Well are you ok? I mean Jude's back and all."

"I'm hurt she lied and she felt she needed to pretend she's dead and not tell me. But I know that she had to have a good reason to do it. And yes it's going to take some getting use to Jude being back after 9 months, but nothing we can't handle."

"Yeah I believe you guys can do it."

"I'm just worried about Jude and Tommy. Those two already had so many problems before and this is going to make things worse."

"Yeah I know what you mean. We're going to have to try and get those two to play nice."

Just then Tommy decides to speak. "So you finally decided to show yourself and stop hiding. Congratulations on growing up and facing your mistakes."

Jude just stares at him for a second before replying. "Yeah right Tommy the only mistake I made was believing in you. And you're one to talk. Do you know where I got the idea of hiding? Of running? From you." Jude says taking a few steps so she's only a few feet away from Tommy. "After all you are the champion of running away from your problems. Remember?"

Darius and Liam who were both sitting on the couch next to Sadie lean into the two's conversation. Darius says "Good luck on keeping those two in line."

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**So there it is. Chapter 18. I hope you guys enjoyed and again I apologize for taking so long to post more. I'm going to do my best to post more often. **

**Thanks again to all who are still reading and a special thanks to those reviewing. It means so much to read them Thank you!**


	19. Jude's story

**Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter. I'm getting better at posting, but I know it's still a long time between posts. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it all though! **

**Thanks so much for everyone who is still reading and not giving up on me! It means soo soo much! Anyways enjoy!**

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Tommy just stares at Jude wondering what had happened to her. What had happened to the Jude he spent 20 hours a day with locked in a studio? She wasn't the same, she seemed colder some how?

Jude looks at Tommy and wonders what had happened. He didn't look at her the same anymore. Before even when they fought his eyes always lit up a little when he looked at her. Now they still had a little of the sparkle in them, but there was more of a cloud over them. Making him seem colder than he use to be.

Tommy looks at Jude one more time before saying. "What happened to you?"

"Life Tommy. That's what happened to me. Life." Jude says looking away hating to see the colder, darker Tommy looking back at her.

"Life doesn't do this to someone Jude. Life doesn't make a person lie about their own death." Tommy says not believing her excuse.

"Fine Tommy you want the truth?" Jude says still not looking at him.

"Yeah that would be a nice change." Tommy says which causes Jude to look back up at him and straight into his eyes.

"Love. That's why I've been hiding, lying, **dying**. Love!" Jude says before turning away so Tommy doesn't see the stray tears falling down her cheek. Those stupid, meaningless tears that she couldn't control.

Feeling ashamed Tommy goes to comfort Jude who just steps out of his reach. "No. I'm fine!" Jude says turning further away from him.

Everyone is quiet for what seems like an eternity before Sadie decides that she can't wait any longer she needs to hug Jude. So she stands up and walks in front of her. "Hey little sis. Long time no see!" Sadie says putting on a big smile and opening her arms for Jude who is laughing at her sister's way of covering the tension in the room.

"Yeah that's the under statement of the century!" Kwest says taking Sadie's lead and stands up to give Jude a hug as well. "So how've you been?" Kwest asks pulling away and looking down at Jude.

"Oh you know…things have been just peachy!" Jude says putting on a fake smile. Quickly looking over at Tommy who was looking down at the ground.

"Ok…I'll let that answer slide. For now!" Sadie says shaking her head. "But honestly what happened? Why did you lie?"

"Yeah. Why? Why were Darius and Liam the only ones to know?" Tommy asks quietly.

"If you guys are going to hear the whole story we should wait until morning or when you have more time. It's a long complicated story."

"We have time." Sadie says determined.

"Ok fine, but can we at least sit down?"

"Yeah. Lets take this into a conference room with more chairs and a little more comfortable." Liam says handing Jude a cup of coffee just the way she likes it. This causes Jude to smile before taking a long sip of the hot liquid. He didn't realize how much of a lifesaver the one simple cup of coffee was right now.

Walking into the conference room Darius was leading the way with Liam right behind him. Sadie had her arm linked through Jude's and wasn't letting go. Kwest followed behind and he kept looking over his shoulder at the surprisingly quiet Tommy.

Sitting down it's the same. Liam and Darius are sitting at the head of the table Sadie sits down with Jude in the middle with Kwest on her other side and Tommy sits at the opposite end away from all of them.

"Ok. So umm what do you all really want to know?" Jude asks uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Ok how about why?" Sadie asks.

"That's easy. I did it to save my life."

"Does this have something to do with this Corwin Black person?" Kwest asks leaning forward to see around Sadie.

"Yeah it does. It actually has everything to do with him."

"Oh my god! Jude what did he do?!" Sadie asks worried that her sister had been physically hurt or something. She had read the article, but it hadn't said anything in great detail about what he did exactly.

"He was blackmailing me." Jude says simply like that takes care of everything.

"Ok Jude you're going to have to elaborate more than that."

"Ok. It might be easier if I start at the beginning." Jude says looking down at her hands. Then down at Darius and Liam who were looking at her. She then dared a look at Tommy who was just looking at the table almost like he was oblivious to everything going on.

"Jude you don't have to do this. Liam and I are more than willing to release a statement for you so you don't have to go over everything again." Darius says wishing he could protect this broken girl anyway he could.

"No that's not necessary. Besides. I will have to face the real world with my story anyways and the press is going to ask questions. So it would be better if I prepared myself."

"Ok, but only if you're sure." Liam says.

"I'm sure."

But even after reassuring Darius and Liam, Jude sits there looking at the table. She's not quite sure where she should start. How much she should tell them. With Tommy being there she knew she didn't want to mention that night when she got drunk, but if she didn't they were going to wonder why she was being blackmailed. Finally Jude can't take the silence anymore and just starts talking.

"I had met Corwin once before and I wasn't in the best of moods. And you guys know me and how I get sometimes. Well one thing led to another and I did a really Really stupid thing and Corwin witnessed it."

"What did you do?"

"That doesn't matter, what matters is I did it and he took it to his advantage." Jude says putting a lot of emphasis on the word advantage. "Anyways. About a month or so later I got a letter in the mail and it was not from him saying he was going to the press if I didn't pay him and he wanted to meet and talk." Jude stops to take a deep breath. This next part was something Darius and Liam didn't know anything about. "Well I met him to talk to him. I thought maybe I could reason with him." Jude continues but gets cut off quickly.

"Jude! You never told me that!" Darius says shocked and worried about what else went on the he knew nothing about.

"I know. I'm sorry." Jude says looking down at the table. "But I met with him and thought maybe I could talk sense to him, but that, he umm didn't care. He told me it was my problem and that I better solve it before…before, well just before."

"What did you do? You obviously paid him." Kwest says.

"That's where Darius and Liam come in." Tommy says coming out of his silence. "They paid him for her."

"You did!" Sadie says looking at Darius and Liam in a whole new way. "You guys helped my sister."

"Oh don't go and thank them yet." Tommy says. "They're also the reason Jude faked her own death so well."

"What. I don't understand." Sadie says looking at Tommy and then back to Darius and Liam. "Why would you guys do that?" Sadie says getting upset all over again.

"Let Jude explain before you condemn them." Kwest says pulling Sadie towards him.

"Ok. Explain."

"Tommy's right. After I met with him and he…I did come to Darius who wouldn't make any move before consulting Liam. They told me I was going to pay Corwin and that they would give me the money to do it."

"But if you paid him then why did you need to hide?"

"After I paid him he went away. For awhile at least. I thought I was done with that whole issue, but I was wrong. I was at the chrome cat practicing with SME and they left for a food run and I stayed behind to work on some lyrics. I heard some noises coming from downstairs and I thought…" Jude stops her self before she says something she was going to regret. "I thought SME had decided to raid my kitchen instead of going out."

"Why would they do that? Everyone knows the only thing you keep in your kitchen is pop tarts and coffee." Sadie says.

Jude knows this. And she knows that that was a horrible lie, but what was she suppose to say? The truth? That she thought it had been Tommy making the noise and that he had come back. Never!

"Yeah well it's Speed. Not exactly a genius." Jude says. "Anyways. I walked into my apartment and he was there. Corwin. He told me that he wanted more money or I was going to be sorry." Taking a deep breath Jude looks over at Tommy who again was acting as if this was a normal everyday business meeting. Frustrated Jude lets out a quick sigh. "So I went back to Darius and Liam and told them. That's when we all agreed that Corwin was never going to give up and we needed to involve the police."

"Quick question. Why didn't you tell me! I'm your sister Jude! I would've been there for you in a heartbeat."

"I was ashamed. And scared. And I didn't want to involve you in his sick little game." Jude says wishing she could take back the last 10 months to before Tommy had left and everything went to hell.

"I wouldn't have cared." Sadie says trying to cover that fact she was hurt. "I just want you to know that."

"And I do." Jude says.

"What happened after you went to the police?" Kwest asks.

"They told me that I was going to meet with Corwin again and wear a wire and that's when they were going to arrest him. At the meeting."

"Well why didn't they?"

"I don't know exactly where the plan went wrong. But what I do know is that it went completely wrong. I met with Corwin and within seconds he realized I didn't have the money for him and he got pissed. The next thing I know he knows about the wire and that's when I got in my car to drive away."

"How did he know about your wire?" Tommy asks not being able to stay silent. "Don't the cops usually hide those things?"

Jude doesn't answer him, knowing that by her not answering, he has his answer.

"Oh my god Jude! Are you ok?" Sadie asks looking at her sister in a whole new light.

"I'm fine. I-I- I got away, that's all that matters. But he followed me and since we were out in the middle of no where I couldn't just park my car and run into the nearest building." Jude says stopping.

"What happened Jude?" Sadie asks pulling Jude into a hug.

"He ran me off the road and into a tree. My car was so small compared to his it wasn't very hard. But since I was in such a hurry to get away from him I didn't have my seat belt on I flew forward and hit the windshield and then fell back. I was knocked on conscious." Jude pauses to look up at Sadie who is covering her mouth and trying not to cry over the pain and suffering her little sister has had to face.

"Anyways. I woke up in a hospital with Darius and Liam and the main officer on my case sitting in my room. We talked and talked and talked until we all agreed. I wasn't safe here in Toronto anymore. Not as long as Corwin was free to do as he pleased."

"Ok. I understand why you had to hide out, but why fake your own death? Why go to that extreme?"

"If Corwin knew I was alive he would've kept on coming after me. Or at least he would've gone to the press and ruined my career. But as long as he thought I was dead he couldn't do anything. The press wouldn't care about something a dead artist had done enough to pay him big. And I was gone so he couldn't come after me."

"How did you do it? How did you pull it off?"

"That's where Darius and Liam come in again. I owe those two my life. They were the ones who found a place for me to live and they paid for it. They paid for everything." Jude says looking over at the two life savers who and smiled at them. "Basically all I did was stay in the hospital until I was released and then shipped of to Ada, Minnesota. The cops were the ones who put in the paper I was dead and Darius and Liam took care of everything else."

"So you stayed in hiding this whole time. You did that without recording or anything. Knowing that we all thought you were dead. How did you do it? The Jude I know doesn't have that patience."

"Well I admit it was hard, but I had no other choice. I wrote millions upon millions of songs though, so don't worry about that. I have my next 3 cds at least ready to go." Jude says trying to lighten the situation.

"Well I'm happy you're home! That's all I can say." Kwest says standing to give Jude a hug.

"Me too!" Sadie says jumping up and joining in.

Turning to look over at Darius and Liam who are both sitting very quiet Sadie gives them a small smile. Walking over to them she gives them both a big hug. "I hate you both SO much for lying to me and keeping me in the dark about my sister. But I have to thank you for taking such good care of her."

"Well it's the least we could do."

"Yeah I'm just sorry we had to lie to all of you." Darius says looking at Kwest and Sadie.

"It's my fault. You guys were just doing it to protect me." Jude says defending he saviors.

While everyone was talking Tommy was sitting in his own little world thinking about everything Jude had said. She was hiding something. Something big. Tommy knew it. Looking up at the group he sees that all of them are looking at Jude and talking. All of them are talking except Jude who is looking down at the ground before looking over at Tommy.

In that brief second of contact Tommy sees a dark cloud covering the once shining star. And he knows that there's more to the story than Jude shared. Starting with why she was being blackmailed. Tommy doesn't know what Jude is hiding and isn't sure why she is, but he plans to find out.

Standing up Tommy turns to leave.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Jude shouts after him. She can't believe it. After everything she had told him and he still was upset with her.

Tommy turns and looks at her. "You're not telling me something Jude. I know you well enough to know that. So unless you want to tell me everything I'm going home to think."

"I can't believe you. After everything she's been through and you're still acting like the victim!" Sadie says.

"No he's right." Jude says holding up her hand to stop Sadie. "I didn't tell the whole story, but that's because I'm afraid to."

"Jude you don't have to be afraid. I'm your sister. I won't judge you."

"No I know you won't, but he will." Jude says pointing to Tom.

"I won't judge you either Jude."

"You already have Tom."

"I think we should talk in private."

"I think you're right." Jude says walking away from the group and past Tommy and into his office.

Tommy turns and looks at the group. "If you hurt her Tom, or say something to drive her away I'm going to make you live to regret it!" Sadie says walking past him to her desk. "I'm going home. Make sure to tell Jude to stop over tonight before she goes home. If I don't see her I'll know why." And with that Sadie walks out of the building with Kwest following not to far behind.

Darius and Liam both decide it's getting late and they leave to. Leaving Tommy standing in the conference room doorway looking at his office.

Walking to his doorway Tommy sees Jude looking at the picture he had been staring at before she had arrived. Walking into the room Jude looks up and Tommy sees that she's crying. Before he can say anything though Jude jumps up.

"This was a mistake. Everything was." Starting to walk past him but stopped by Tommy grabbing her arm Jude turns and looks at him.

"No it wasn't." Tommy says.

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**There you guys go chapter 19 finished! I hope you guys liked it. This is one of my favorite chapters I think. So please review. I love to read them and they help with the story! Just again Thank you! And I hope you guys liked it.**


	20. what happened

**Hey everyone! Here is the latest update of 8 months. In advance I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone with this chapter. I was stuck on where to go with this story and so I hope this isn't too horrible. Look on the bright side…I updated in like two days! LOL… Anyways. Thank you to everyone who is reading and extra thank you to those reviewing! It means sooo much!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.**

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"This was a mistake. Everything was." Starting to walk past him but stopped by Tommy grabbing her arm Jude turns and looks at him.

"No it wasn't." Tommy says.

Jude looks into Tommy's eyes and she expects to see anger or something of the like. But what she did see was completely different. She never expected to see sadness, confusion, and pain looking back at her. Jude looks back down at the ground and wipes the tears from her eyes. Boy she didn't need this right now.

Tommy doesn't know what to say to Jude. He knew that she was lying, or at least not telling the whole truth and he wanted to know why. But now that he has this chance of finding out he doesn't know if he truly wants to know. What if he doesn't like the answer he gets in return? He just wanted things to go back to normal. He wished he could go back 10 months to before he left and everything changed.

The two are just standing in silence till Jude can't take it anymore. "This was all a mistake. I'll go." Jude says again and turns to leave, but this time Tommy doesn't stop her.

Jude stops in the doorway and looks over her shoulder to see what Tommy's doing and she feels like bursting into tears again. He is just standing right where she left him and he's still looking at the ground. How can it be she is so affected by him and he doesn't even flinch? Walking out the door before she starts to cry again Jude shuts the door behind her so maybe Tommy won't hear her quiet sob.

Walking back into the conference room to grab her bag Jude stops to look around. She missed this place. This was her home. Not literally, her actual home was on Homer Lane. But for the last 2 years, before the whole Corwin drama went down, G-Major had been Jude's home. She had felt like she belonged there, more so even then she did in her own family. The people here had accepted her as who she was, with a few image changes, but still. She had a whole separate family that understood her music side. And now she might have lost that forever.

Jude had no idea what to expect after the news of her being alive got out. She did know that it wasn't going to be accepted so easily like Sadie and Kwest did. More people were going to be like Tommy, they would feel betrayal and pain and anger towards her and Darius and Liam. Not that she could blame them. What she had to do was horrible and she hopes nobody else has to make the choices she has had to. She just wished that she could have Tommy on her side. She had thought if anyone would see why she did what she did it would be him.

They were both so alike. Two peas in a pod, tabloids had claimed. She figured that the chemistry they had shared would overcome any obstacle. After all, look at what they had faced together already. All their problems and they were still there for each other, except for now. Now when Jude truly needed Tommy more than ever, she might end up having to face her problems alone.

Deciding that it's time to leave, before she gets emotional again Jude starts heading to the back door. As she reaches for the handle it opens up jamming her pointer and middle finger back. "Son of a!" Jude yells jumping back from the door. "Who do you think…" But she stops when she sees its Tommy. "What are you doing?" Jude asks turning her back towards him so he won't see that she's in pain from the stupid door.

"I went to find you and I saw that your car is still here." Tommy says walking so he's standing in front of Jude again. Who just turns away from him again. "What are you doing? Jude will you at least look at me?" Tommy asks.

"Fine!" Jude says turning to look at Tommy who can see that she has tears in her eyes again.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asks worried that it's just him who's making her cry. He felt horrible not saying anything in his office, but he didn't know what to do. Jude seemed so much more different than he remembered her. It was a little unnerving.

And to top it all off he still loved her. Even though his mind was telling him that she had lied and hurt him. That she wasn't the same girl. His heart still ached for her. He still wanted to stop her tears and ease her pain. Even if he knew he was crazy for wanting to.

"It's nothing Tommy I'm fine." Jude says wishing she sounded more convincing. But her voice was little higher pitched than normal because she was trying to keep from screaming out in pain. Her hand really hurt!

Tommy finally looks down and sees that Jude's holding her hand and he realizes what must have happened. "Jude did you hurt your hand when you went to grab the door handle?"

"No! YOU hurt my hand when you plowed through the doorway not making sure no one was on the other side." Jude says looking away because she knows she sounds like a complete dunce for being hurt by a door!

"Ok you can blame me if you want, but you should really get some ice on that." Tommy says grabbing Jude's elbow and lightly pushes her towards the kitchenette.

"Don't push me! I can get there by myself. And besides I just jammed it, that's all." Jude says hoping Tommy will just let her leave.

"Stop being such a baby and let me get you some ice."

"HA! Me the baby! Yeah right Tommy. You're the one who's been acting all high and mighty. You're the one acting like the victim, when in reality you left me first!" Jude says finally letting out some of her pent up anger on him.

"Yeah, but the difference is Jude. You didn't think I was dead."

"In all honesty Tom. Didn't know if you were dead or alive, I didn't know if you were in Canada still. The only thing I knew was that my heart had been broken by you again."

Tommy doesn't say anything after that. Because he knows she's right. He had left her with no idea why. He had broken her heart again that night, but at least when he did it he had felt remorse and sorry for it. Unlike her who comes back and expects everyone to accept her.

"I'm leaving." Jude says not even bothering to wait for the ice. She doesn't need it anyway.

"What about your hand? You could've really hurt it Jude."

"You're just being a drama queen Quincy. As always." Jude says rolling her eyes. But after looking down at her hand she sees that her pointer and middle finger are a purplish red color and the rest of her hand looks sort of swollen. "Fine I'll put some ice on it."

Tommy just nods his head and turns to the freezer and opens the door. "Great!"

"What's wrong now?" Jude asks.

"We have no ice." Tommy says turning to look at Jude.

"Well then it's a sign Quincy. I don't really need the ice then do I?" Jude says rolling her eyes and looking away.

Tommy looks at Jude and wonders what went wrong. Why was she this colder person? He had listened to her explain everything with Corwin, but that doesn't make sense for why she seems so cold towards him, why she seems so much more withdrawn from everything.

Jude looks back over at Tommy and sees that he's still staring at her. Finally getting annoyed and feeling a little bit awkward from his staring she speaks up. "Ok what are you staring at?"

"What happened to you?" Tommy asks again. Hoping for a better answer.

"I told you already." Jude says standing up to leave. She doesn't want to discuss this anymore, especially not with Tommy. He is the last person she wants to know.

"Yeah, but there's more to it that that Jude. I know there has to be."

"Tommy I told you. I'm the way I am because of Corwin." Jude says hoping he will let the issue go.

"Ok then. What was it that you did with Corwin that made him blackmail you?"

"That's none of you business." Jude says standing up to leave. She doesn't need this right now.

"There you go running away again. Geez Jude you sure are good at that aren't ya?"

"I learned it from you Tommy." Jude says turning to look at him. Hoping that by reminding him of everything he's done will make him shut up.

"No, I'm not going to let you get by with that anymore." Tommy says. "Yes I did leave, but I didn't run."

"You coulda fooled me Tommy. Because that's sure looked like what you were doing when you left me that night."

"I had to leave Jude. I had personal issues that I needed to take care of. I'm sorry if you don't think that's a good enough reason, but that's all I got." He says taking a step towards her. "I didn't run from you that night. I had no choice. I had to go. Trust me. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you like that."

"But you still did." Jude says in almost a whisper turning away from Tommy.

"Jude." Tommy says taking the final steps so he's standing right in front of her. Turning her so she's facing him Tommy puts his finger under her chin so she has to look at him. "What's happened?"

"You don't want to know." Jude says shaking her head out of his hand.

"Yeah I do. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."

"It's not important. What's important is that it's over and done with."

"Jude it will never be over if you don't let go of the reason you're hurting so much." Tommy says wishing that he could get through this wall she has built around her. "I know I left you. I'm sorry, but can't you please find it in you to trust me again?"

"That night." Jude starts, but stops when Tommy interrupts her.

"Jude, can we please forget that night." Tommy says.

"I really wish I could Tom. But it's the start of everything."

"Please don't say that Jude. You make it sound like it's all my fault." Tommy says looking over at Jude who had started to lightly shake. "What's wrong? Jude why are you crying?"

"Because Tommy. It is your fault."

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**Ok I hope you guys liked it! Because personally I don't think it's all that great. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone with this chapter, but I wasn't quite sure where to take this story and then I started typing and this is the end result.**

**Hopefully you guys enjoyed it and will review. I love to read them and they help a lot! Anyways THANKS! So much for those who are reading and special thanks out there to my reviews you guys are the best!**


	21. tears

**Hey everyone!! Here is the newest chapter. I hope you guys all enjoy it, because it was a hard one to write… I started writing this chapter 5 times before I finally liked what I came up with. So I hope it was all worth it! LOL Anyways. You guys are all worried about this not being a Jommy. Well I'm not giving anything away, but I'll say this. I'm a huge Jommy fan and you can pretty much bet anything I write will be a jommy. So don't worry about it! **

**But enough of me talking you guys want the story. So quick thanks to those reading and reviewing. And a disclaimer saying I don't own IS or the characters.**

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"Because Tommy. It is your fault." Jude says looking up and into his eyes.

Tommy just shakes his head. 'No. You can't blame this whole thing on me Jude."

"It's not like I want to Tommy!"

"Well you sure could've fooled me. You come in here and first thing you do is blame me for you running and now you're blaming me because you had to run."

"I know what you're thinking. And you're not all wrong."

"How is what happened to you my fault Jude? How? I wasn't even here."

"Exactly!" Jude shouts jumping up and away from Tommy. He was never going to understand without knowing the whole truth, but how could she tell him? She was so ashamed of everything that has happened. "You left Tommy! You handed me everything I had wanted that night and not even 24 hours later you took it all away! You took away everything we had shared together. Our music, our relationship, and my heart." Jude says through her tears. "You left me empty and hollow to pick up the pieces."

"Jude…"Tommy says but she cuts him off.

"NO! You wanted to know and now you get to." Jude says shaking her head and turning to look at him. "I couldn't handle it. You being gone, it was impossible. So on the night of my release party I told Liam I couldn't go on without you. There was no way I could sing for everyone when all I wanted to do was roll into a ball and crawl into a corner to cry. And you know what Liam said? Guess."

Tommy doesn't say anything. Knowing that Jude has to do this. She has to get rid of this anger towards everything, towards everyone.

"He told me that you had left and obviously didn't care. So I decided why should I care either. And I left not caring that that could be then end of my singing career. Because without you I didn't feel like singing anyway."

"Where did you go when you ditched your party?" Tommy asks knowing the answer, but wanting to keep Jude going as she was losing her steam.

"I went to see Mason in Berry. That seemed like me only safe haven away from everyone here. So when I got there obviously Mason stilled needed to perform so I was just going to sit and wait for him at the bar. Sitting there I called you over and over and over again. I left you hundreds of messages. Then a guy came up to me, he seemed pretty nice and kind of cute. He offered to but me a drink. At first I said no, I was already out of my mind upset and I didn't need alcohol to make matters worse." Jude says stopping to take a breath and turn to look over at his reaction so far. She sees he has his eyes closed and wonders if he is even truly listening.

"Anyways he then offered to buy me a nonalcoholic drink and I said sure. Well at the time I wasn't thinking or paying attention and I just drank whatever he ordered me. Turns out it was an alcoholic drink and after having one he asked if I wanted to have a shot with him and I said sure, one drink what would another do?"

"Jude for someone who has only drank once before in her life and is a minor still. You were probably already tipsy from the first drink." Tommy says not being able to conceal his anger and annoyance.

"I know that Tommy, but I didn't care. The drinking eased my pain. It didn't make me forget about you it just made me feel better."

Tommy knows the feeling. He too has turned to the bottle on occasion to forget or heal the pain he has felt. For the first month after he had left he had drank everyday, till he finally saw how it was affecting everyone around him.

"So I drank with him. Until Mason came to check on me and asked if I wanted to sing. Well at that point I was willing for about anything and said sure. I got up on stage and sang There's Us and then went back to drink some more."

"So you're an alcoholic now?"

"No I'm not and alcoholic. I haven't had a drink since that night. But have you ever been in so much pain or been so frustrated that nothing seemed to work. Have you just been in a place where you had nowhere to turn and it seems the only way out is to drink through it or die? Well I had never been to that place before Tommy until that night."

"I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter. What happened happened."

"Well what did happen?" Tommy asks still wondering where this trip down memory is taking him.

"After Mason finished he came and asked me if I wanted to wait for him to finish is interviews or just go upstairs. I didn't feel like talking to reporters, but at the same time Mason didn't trust that I could make it to the room alone. So the guy…Corwin, helped me to the room."

"What did he do to you Jude?" Tommy asks. This was the part he wanted to know. The part he believed even Darius didn't know the truth to.

"He—I –we. I sorta passed out, but didn't. I knew where I was and I just wanted to sleep. So I started to undress and the next thing I know I'm lying on the bed and he's lifting my shirt and I see flashes going off. That's the last thing I remember from that night and then the next morning I wake up to Mason and then Jamie shows up and takes me home. Two weeks later I get a package in the mail with pictures from that night. H—he—he was blackmailing with the pictures of me drunk and undressing myself." Jude says bursting into tears.

"Oh Jude." Tommy says running to her and holding her in his arms. While she cries. "It's ok. That's not your fault." Tommy says looking into her eyes. "That's it right? No more secrets about Corwin right?"

Jude just looks into his eyes and nods her head and closes her eyes. Tommy leans in closer and starts rocking her. "It's ok. It's over. He's going to go to jail and this will be all over." Tommy says kissing the top of her head. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I just didn't understand. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" Tommy says looking down at Jude. Who just keeps nodding her head. "Hey listen Sadie wants you to go to her place tonight. Okay? Do you want me to drive you or can you make it alone?"

"I'm fine Tommy." Jude says not looking at him and standing to walk away. This worries Tommy even more than her being silent.

"Jude what's wrong?"

Jude turns and looks at him. Opening her mouth to speak but she gets cut off by her cell ringing. "Oh he's under my skin, Just give me something to get rid of him, I've got a reason now to bury this alive, Another little white lie." Plays through the room breaking the silence shared between the two.

Tommy gives Jude a confused look. One of the saddest songs she ever sang is her ring tone. But before he can asks her she picks up "Hello? Oh hey Sadie. Yeah I'm on my way. See you in ten minutes. Bye." Jude hangs up and wipes the tears of her cheeks. "That was Sadie. Umm she was worried about me. I better get going." Jude says turning back around.

Tommy just watches her go not stopping her this time. Finally she disappears down the dark hallway and then he hears the slam of the back door and he finally speaks. "What are you hiding Jude? What are you so afraid of?"

Jude walks out to her car trying to stop the tears from falling, but it's a useless task. Getting in her car she turns the radio on and hears the opening of White Lines. Shaking her head she changes the station, the last thing she needs right now is a reminder of when her and Tommy. Pulling out of the parking lot she is still shaking her head. "You're going to have to tell him. He'll find out eventually, everyone will. So why not just get it over with now." Jude says talking to herself. She's so caught up she realizes she's missed her turn.

Just great Jude. Why is this so hard? Because you don't want anyone to know. Which is true. She is very happy keeping the secret between her and the doctor. But some time down the road, the issue will come up. And he…it's going to be hard. Frustrated and upset Jude starts crying again. It's not fair. I'm 18! Why do I have to deal with this? Pulling into Sadie and Kwest's drive way Jude pulls her key out of the ignition and steps out of her car. Wiping away the tears again from her eyes, she walks up to the door and before she gets a chance to knock Sadie pulls it open.

"Jude. What's wrong?" Sadie says pulling Jude into a hug. "I'm you sister honey you can tell me anything." Sadie says pulling away to look at her. "I'm not going to judge you."

And finally Jude can't take it anymore. She's dying inside because of this burden and she needs to let it because it hurts too much. "He raped me." She says the tears starting all over again. "Corwin raped me and…" But she can't get the rest of the words out and Sadie pulls her into a hug.

Both sisters crying. One for the pain her sisters been through and the unfairness of it all. And the other because of everything she's had to face and because of everything yet to come. Kwest comes walking in from the kitchen and sees both the sisters on the floor crying and he just shakes his head. He heard Jude from the kitchen, but he doesn't think he should interrupt them right now.

Turning to the couch and grabbing a blanket Kwest lays it out for them and heads upstairs. He doubts Sadie is going to leave Jude's side tonight, if ever. And he understands. It's not fair. The krap decent people go through. Jude doesn't deserve any of that. No one does.

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**Ok! I hope you guys all enjoyed the chapter. As you can tell it's very emotional and hard issue to deal with. Thanks so much everyone who is reading. I really hope you guys are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it. **

**But special thanks go out to the reviewers. You guys are the best and if it wasn't for you this story wouldn't be where it was. I was planning a short little one shot, but I can honestly say I'm glad I kept going. So thank you too:**

_kolirox_

_Saralyleth_

_Petite Quiet Harrison_

_Ilovetommyq_

_Golfa chickie_

_Lileigh760_

_Biminigirl15_

_Tiff8_

_Tommyandjude4ever_

_Jude-and-tommy-4eva-summer-bay_

_Scott4eva_

_Pickyfan_

**I'm glad you guys love the story and keep on reviewing!**


	22. the secret

**Hey everyone!!! Here's the next chapter. I'm sorry I'm taking longer to post, but you know how it is...Writers block and then having no time to sit down and write a fab chapter! lol Anways. I hope this one makes up for me not staying on top of my posting. This is packed with stuff and long! Thank you for reading!!!!! It means a lot. And thanks so much for those reviewing. You guys are the best! Anyways...Enjoy!**

**  
Disclaimer: I don't own IS or the song. The song is by Hilary Duff.**

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Kwest was getting ready for bed when he heard a noise behind him. Turning around he sees Sadie shutting the door while rubbing her eyes.

"Hey. What are you doing up here?" Kwest asks walking towards her and pulling her into a hug. "Shouldn't you be down stairs with Jude?"

"I wish I could." Sadie says walking towards her dresser.

"What do you mean? Jude needs you right now."

"No she doesn't." Sadie says with no emotion in her voice. She doesn't even look at Kwest, she just walks on by him and in to the bathroom to change for the night.

"Sadie! I heard every thing. Jude needs her sister right now." Kwest says. And when he still gets no reaction from Sadie he just shakes his head. "Jude has just admitted to going through one of the worst things ever. And she really needs you to go downstairs and be her support system." When Kwest still doesn't get a answer from Sadie he grabs her arm and turns her around to face him and thats when he sees the tears rolling down her face. "I know this is hard, but just imagine what Jude is going through right now. She needs you to be there for her."

Sadie still doesn't answer Kwest right away, instead she just shakes her head. "I know. I know! You're right. But Jude doesn't want my help." Sadie says falling to the ground. "My little sister. She has always been such a grown up. Facing her problems without any help from anyone. And you know who's fault that is? Mine! My families! It's all our fault."

"How is this your fault?" Kwest asks rubbing Sadie's back trying to comfort her.

"We were never a family. We would always face our problems solo. When grams died Jude was 6 and I was 9. We were so close to her and instead of comforting my little sister with her grief and mine, you know what I did?" Sadie asks, but Kwest doesn't answer. "I joined gymnastics and lived at the gymnasium for two months until my first competition when I took home first. Mom and dad were my groupies. Taking me everywhere and supporting my obsession. And Jude. She was drug along like a Ragedy Ann doll. We practically ignored her, a six year old girl who had just lost her favorite grandmother!"

"You were only grieving. You were nine years old. It wasn't your job, it was your parents."

"You're right. At nine years old it wasn't my job. But what about later on? I never was there for her. When she was picked on in high school, I was one of the kids picking on her. When she was worried about the Instant Star contest, I told her she had no chance. When she was falling for Tommy, I took him from her on purpose. When mom and dad were getting divorced, I blamed her. How about when Tommy left? I tried to comfort her, but not really, I was so caught up in my life."

"That's history. Jude doesn't care about that anymore. She just wants you there to comfort her now."

"No she doesn't. That's why I'm up here. She's so used to dealing with her problems on her own that she doesn't want my help. My baby sister is so independent now. I mean she's 18 which isn't exactly little, but she never got the chance to be little. She has always been such a grown up. But now, with everything that's happen she looks so young, so innocent. And-and she still doesn't want my help." Sadie saids before starting to cry again.

"Ssh It's ok. Jude is just trying to deal. She's going to be fine." Kwest says standing up and pulling Sadie up with him. "How bout we go to bed. You're tired, Jude's tired. Maybe if we all get a nights sleep we'll be able to talk about this more."

"I doubt Jude will be willing to talk about it tomorrow. But you're right, I am tired."

"Don't worry about Jude. She's a strong girl. All Harrison women are." Kwest says laying down next to Sadie.

"I love you Kwest. I hope you know that. And I would never be able to get through all of this without you. You are my support system."

"You would've done just fine without me.I just give you something cute to look at." He smiles at her before kissing her goodnight.

Meanwhile Jude is down stairs. Doing what she always does to release stress. Writing a new song.

The next morning Sadie wakes up to her alarm, turning over she looks at Kwest who is also getting up for the day. "Couldn't we just call in sick or something?"

"You know we probably could. But Patsy's CD is almost ready and I need to finish that before Darius and Liam get cranky."

"Tommy can take care of Patsy for one lousy day."

"On normal circumstances I would trust Tommy to take on my load and his. But right now his mind isn't on music or CD releases."

"I know. It's just going in and dealing with everyone after Jude has come back. You know the press will be all over this today."

"Yes I know. And where's a better place to hide out then G-Major? You know Darius is going to have extra security set up for anything. And besides the G-Major staff is like family."

"Yeah I know. You're right."

"Why don't you go downstairs and wake Jude up. See if she wants to join us at G-Major this early or if she has other plans for the day."

"No. I'll let her sleep in. If she wants to come with us we can just be a little late."

After almost an hour getting ready the couple walk down the stairs and into the living room.

"Hey Jude. We're heading..."

"Jude?"

"Where is she!"

"Calm down Sadie. She might be in the bathroom."

Sadie shakes her head and goes down the hall. "She's not in the bathroom Kwest! What happened to her?"

"Sadie. It's ok. She left a note. It's here in the kitchen." Kwest says holding it out for a freaked Sadie. Grabbing it from his hand Sadie let's out a frustrated sigh while reading it.

_Sadie and Kwest,_

_I went into G-Major early this morning to talk to Darius and Liam. And beat the morning newspapers. So no I'm not hiding in the bathroom Kwest. And no Sadie I didn't run again. I'm sorry for not telling you guys, but I didn't want to wake or bother you this morning. I'm ok. Don't worry about me so much. I love you guys and I'll see later._

_Jude_

"Why won't she just let us help her!" Sadie yells at no one in particular before grabbing her keys. "Let's get going."

Pulling up to G-Major Sadie can't get to her normal parking spot because of the press vans. Getting ready to go into reverse Liam comes out and tells her to park in the back. "Is this what we have to look forward to?" Sadie asks looking at Kwest.

"For awhile. At least until the press thinks there's no more story here at G-Major or with Jude." Rolling her eyes Sadie parks and gets out of the car. Walking into G-Major the couple part ways. Sadie to her desk and Kwest to Studio A.

Walking into the studio the first thing Kwest hears is the sound of a guitar playing. Turning he sees Jude sitting in the corner. "What are you doing in here? Hiding." Kwest says sitting down next to her.

"The press had followed me into the building when I got here. Darius told me to hide out until I felt like coming out."

"So how long have you been in here?"

"Oh I don't know. I got here at 7 this morning and it is now..." Jude says trying to look over Kwest's shoulder but can't see the clock.

"It's almost 10 Jude."

"Ok so about three hours then."

"And do you plan on coming out anytime soon?"

"I don't know Kwest. I've been lying about liking guys for so long, it's hard to tell everyone the truth now." Jude says with a cocky smile standing up.

"Hardy har har Jude. But seriously. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Kwest! Obviously you missed my note this morning about not worrying."

"No I read it. I just don't believe it."

"And why's that Kwest? What do you know about my attitude that I don't?"

"Nothing like that Jude. It's just. I heard you talking to Sadie last night. I- I know." Kwest says looking down at the ground before looking into her eyes. He knows Jude and knows it has to be hard to admit something so personal.

"You know. Who else does?"

"Me and Sadie haven't told anyone. So just you, Sadie, me, and Tommy."

"Tommy! How does he know?"

"You-you didn't tell him?"

"No. I couldn't." Jude says looking at the ground. "I feel to ashamed as it is. Telling him would be just liking adding salt to an open wound."

"Jude. You have to tell him. The press is going to find out. Do you want him to find out from you or the front page of some tabloid?"

"I know you're right. And I will. Just not right now. But I promise I'll tell Tommy first."

"Tell me what?" Tommy asks with a relieved look on his face. He had just got done fighting the press to get into the building. And after getting in the building he was told the Jude had been hiding out from the press. So he felt pretty lucky to find her as quickly as he did.

"Oh. Umm." Jude says looking down at the ground and everywhere else, but at Tommy. Finally giving Kwest a pleading look.

"Jude has a new song. And I told her she should have you listen to it before she actually records it." Kwest says moving to the sound board.

"Ok. Lets hear it?" Tommy says sitting down and crossing his arms.

Jude stares wide eyed looking between Tommy and Kwest. The only new song she had to sing was the one she wrote last night. And she wasn't **ready **to sing that song yet. "oh umm. Well."

"Come on Jude. Let's hear it." Kwest says behind Tommy winking.

"Ok. Fine. This isn't very good. I haven't gotten all the kinks out yet, but..." Jude says taking a deep breath lifting up her guitar. Looking at Tommy one last time Jude closes her eyes and starts strumming the guitar.

**Some secrets need to be kept  
Some stories should never be told  
Some reasons shouldn't be understood  
They just might turn your blood cold**

Who needs all the answers?  
Who takes all the chances?  
Who said the truth's gonna save you?  
When the truth can be dangerous

Like the way I feel  
What I need  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous  
Dangerous to know

I was a law onto myself  
When you found me out on my own  
Together nothing was sacred  
Together we where alone

Who needs all the questions?  
Who lost their direction?  
Who said a lie's gonna break you?  
When a lie could be dangerous

Like the way I feel  
What I need  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous  
Dangerous to know

Ignorance is bliss  
You're safe when you resist  
There's no safety in a kiss like this  
It's dangerous  
So kiss me  
Kiss me

Like the way I feel  
What I need  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous  
Dangerous  
Like the way I feel  
What I need  
Do what I have to do  
Say what I have to say  
Go where I have to go  
And that's dangerous  
Dangerous to know

Some secrets need to be kept

Opening her eyes Jude looks at Kwest and he has a sad sorry look on his face. He knows what the song is about and it kills Jude that soon everyone will know too. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath Jude looks towards Tommy expecting his insightful know it all look, but instead she's surprised. He isn't even looking at her. He's looking at the ground. Worried about what his reaction means Jude speaks up. "Tommy. Tom? So how was it?"

Looking up Jude see's that his eyes are sad and weary and he's shaking his head. "When are you going to trust me Jude?" And with that he stands up and walks out of the room.

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**Ok...I hope you guys like it!! It was a longer chapter hopefully making up for not posting. Anyways thanks for reading and I can't wait to read your reviews!!!!!  
**


	23. Authors note The story isn't over!

Hey everyone!!!! I have news...I really didn't like my last chapter for 8 months!!! So I've decided that I'm going to take down the last chapter and finish 8 months the right way. Because that was my first story I've ever written and I feel it started out pretty good and I decided it deserved a better ending then the one I gave it. So what do you guys think???

Well hopefully you agree with me because I've already started writing the new ending and I'm taking the old one off. Anyways I hope you guys won't get to upset with me doing this! I just felt 8 Months ended in a rush and more things needed to be said. So keep a look out for the new and improved ending of 8 months...I'm hoping to have it up by Sunday...if my plans go right! (like that ever happens! LOL)

P.S. don't worry!! Nothing drastic is going to happen I promise. Everything that happened will most likely still happen. I just feel like I could've done a better job. Anyways thanks for reading!


	24. What do you want?

I have one thing to say…I am So So sorry that I have been MIA for so long! I've had writers block and no time to give this story the attention it needs! Hopefully you guys will forgive me. This chapter is the opener to the final. This is pretty much the ground work for the Jommy end. Hopefully you guys enjoy and I can't wait to read what you have to say! Thanks again to those sticking with me…you guys are great!

Looking up Jude sees that his eyes are sad and weary and he's shaking his head. "When are you going to trust me Jude?" And with that he stands up and walks out of the room.

Watching him walk through the door Jude stands to start following him, but is stopped by Kwest grabbing her arm.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going?" Kwest says pulling Jude back into her seat. Which just causes Jude to give him a weird look before standing to leave again. And again Kwest stops her and pulls her back into her seat.

"Kwest! What do you think you're doing? I need to go after him!" Jude says pointing in the direction Tommy disappeared to. "Did you not see him storm out of here mad at me? Or was that just my imagination playing tricks on me?"

"No I saw. And I know Tom. If you follow him right now you're going to probably cause more damage than good."

"How do you figure that? He's mad Kwest and hurt. Really hurt." Jude says standing up again, but not trying to leave.

"He has every right to be hurt Jude. And you know as well as I do, that if you go after him now, without a plan, that you two won't fix anything just cover up the problems. And make things worse in the long run." Kwest says letting everything sink in. "Now what do you want from Tommy, Jude? Because you shouldn't go after him until you know."

Jude looks at Kwest and then back to the open doorway and where Tommy had run off too. Taking a step closer to the door way she sees his office door is closed. She could easily run into his office and apologize. Make promises and tell secrets. They would kiss and everything would be happy. But would it honestly be better? Looking back at Kwest Jude sits down in her chair and holds her head in her hands. And she finally does something she wouldn't let herself since she left Toronto. She cried for the girl she used to be.

Standing up Kwest squeezes Jude's shoulder before walking out of the studio and closing the door behind him. Jude needed to be alone.

Sitting in he office Tommy is looking at his computer screen. It was set to screen saver mode and different, random pictures kept popping up on the screen. Most had just him and Jude or just Jude. Seeing the picture of Jude's going away party Tommy shakes his head out of the daze he was in and wiggles the mouse. Hearing a knock at the door Tommy ignores it, expecting it to just be Jude. Hearing the door open Tommy looks up to see Kwest walking in.

"I don't want to talk about it right now man." Tommy says holding up his hand to stop whatever Kwest has to say.

"Fine." Kwest says nodding his head and sitting down anyways. "Fine with me. If you want to hide in your office and mope around about Jude being afraid and a little worried about trusting you. Even after everything you've put her through, including! Running away after she had lowered all of her defenses and let you back into her heart." Kwest says standing up and leaning down on Tom's desk. "I'll leave you alone. Just remember this Tom, when you're making the biggest mistake of your life. That Jude turned 18 a month ago, but has acted like an adult more than you have. She has let her heart on the line for you to break many times, while you won't give her a chance. And that even though you feel betrayed, imagine what she's going through Tom. She feels like she's fighting against the world. And Jude is about ready to give up."

Turning around Kwest makes it to the door before Tommy finally says something. "Jude has never given up. Why would she start now?"

"Because she feels that her support system is finally gone." Kwest says opening the door and walking out. Quickly turning around "and when I say support system Tom. I mean you." Kwest says before closing the door behind him.

Tommy looks at the closed door. Running his fingers through his hair he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. Feeling a liquid running down his cheek Tommy lifts his fingers to his face and feels the tears rolling down his cheeks. Angry he wipes them away and slams his fist down on his desk. What's he suppose to do! Every time he feels like things are heading in the right direction, things take a turn for the worst. What should he do? What does he want?

Kwest walks up to Sadie's desk and looks into the Studio at Jude. She's still in the chair. Turning to Sadie Kwest shakes his head.

"What's wrong?" Sadie asks frowning.

"Those two." Kwest says pointing towards Studio C and Tom's office.

"What about them Kwest? They're confused and scared. That's all." Sadie says walking from around her desk and pulling Kwest into a hug.

"Yeah, but maybe it's more than that." Kwest says looking back at Jude.

"What do you mean?" Sadie asks confused.

"Maybe they shouldn't be together yet." Kwest says and watches the shocked expression cross Sadie's face. "They both know what they want, but neither of them are willing to go after it. And until they are, they'll going to keep hurting each other."

Sadie just nods her head and rests it on his shoulder, happy that she found a guy that knows what he wants and it's what she wants too. Opening her eyes she laughs. Which confuses Kwest who pulls back to look at her. "It looks like at least one of them knows what they want." Sadie says pointing to behind Kwest.

Turning around Kwest smiles and mumbles "Go get her." under his breath. Because sure enough there's Tom Quincy shutting his door and walking towards Studio C.

OK!! One more chapter and 8 Months will officially be over! I know I've said that before and I'm sorry for being a ditz with this story. But hopefully you guys are liking this ending more than the last one! Again I'm so soo sorry for taking forever to update! I hope to have the next chapter up before the 6th. Thanks again to everyone who is reading and a special thanks to the reviewers!


	25. Love

**So sadly this is the end…I've had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. You guys were great and if wasn't for you I wouldn't have updated ever. Hopefully you like this last chapter because I worked really hard to make it good since I didn't like the first ending. And I can't wait to read what you have to say. So enjoy and thanks for reading…come check out my other stories.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters. And I did get some ideas for this chapter from the Instant Star commercials/promos on The N.**

Walking out of his office Tommy sees Kwest and Sadie standing in a loving embrace and he knows that that is was he wants for him and Jude. To be content with just holding the person you love. Even through all the problems you can have that one person to turn to. That's what he and Jude have always been to each other anyways. But he wants to be able to hold her in his arms and not worry what people with think or how they'de react.

Walking to Studio C's door Tommy sees Jude sitting at the soundboard with her head in her hands. Stopping himself he worries. He doesn't care about what everyone else thinks, but what about Jude. She obviously doesn't trust him or she wouldn't keep secrets from him. Maybe she doesn't want what he wants. Maybe she isn't ready for what he wants. Shaking his head Tommy grabs the handle. He needs to stop analyzing everything and go for what he wants. Before he loses it.

Hearing the door close Jude looks around expecting to see Kwest or Sadie, but is surprised to see to instead Tommy standing in the doorway. Standing up Jude starts wiping her eyes not wanting Tommy to see that she had been crying.

"Hey. Umm. I was just…" Jude says looking everywhere but at Tommy.

"Jude. Don't" Tommy says holding up his hand.

"Don't what?" Jude asks getting defensive and just a little bit worried.

"Don't try and make excuses. You've been crying."

"Yeah. So. Why do you care?" Jude says crossing her arms over her chest, building up her defenses for another fight.

"I want to know why." Tommy says stepping closer.

"Are you sure?" Jude says softening a little. "You aren't just going to walk away again? You seem to be really good at that."

"Jude. I left you because I had no choice. My family needed me and I had to help them."

"Besides that. You've wallked away many times before."

"You didn't need me." Tommy says look down at his shoes.

"Tommy." Jude says drawing his attention back up to her. Looking deep into his eyes Jude lets out a sigh. "I've always needed you."

"You don't act like it." Tommy says running his hands through his hair in frustration. "You've always had this wild independent streak. I don't know whether to hold my arms out to catch you or if I should just let you free fall." Stopping to look at Jude he just wants to hold her and forget everything, but that won't slve anything and would just make things worse in the end. "Like after you came back. You wouldn't even talk to me. You ignored me and were pissed at me. And when you finally did talk to me, you lied."

"I didn't lie Tommy!" Jude shouts.

"Fine. You withheld information. You didn't trust me enough obviously." Tommy says trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"It's not that I didn't trust you Tommy. It's just… I…" Jude says trying to think of what she wants to say.

"You just what Jude? Don't think I can handle it? Won't understand? Won't care?"

"No! It's nothing like that."

"Then what Jude." Tommy asks desperate for her to open up.

Looking down at the ground Jude closes her eyes and inhales a deep breath. Looking back up she gets drawn to Tommy and his deep blue eyes. There is so much emotion in those eyes. Letting out the breath she had taken Jude decides to take a leap and hope that this is one of those times Tommy will be there to catch her. "I was raped." Jude says quietly and looking down at her shoes.

"What?" Tommy asks hearing her, but hoping he heard her wrong.

"Looking up at Tommy Jude doesn't even blink. "I was raped." Jude says turning and sitting back down. "Corwin did more that take a couple of pictures and blackmail me. He raped me." Jude says looking up to see Tommy walking towards her.

"Jude." Tommy says pulling her into a hug and quickly pulling away to look her over. "Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine." Jude says quietly.

For awhile Tommy looks at Jude for awhile, taking in everything from the last couple of days. "Why Jude?" Tommy finally asks, which earns him a confused look from Jude. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

Looking down at the ground Jude considers the question. "Because I was ashamed. And I didn't know how you would react after you fund out. I was worried you would look at me the same." Jude says wiping the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Jude." Tommy says pulling her into a hug. "I would never hold something like that against you." He says as he starts to rub her back. "I love you Jude." Tommy whisers into her hair. As soon as he says it he mentally slaps himself. He can feel Jude stiffening and her starting to pull back.

"What?" Jude says as she pulls away to look at Tommy.

"Nothing." Tommy says standing up and pacing.

"No Tommy. You said something." Jude says standing up to stop his pacing.

"No I didn't Jude." Tommy says turning to look at her, but turning to look away again. "Just forget it."

"No Tommy. We were just talking about trust. So now it's your turn. Trust me!"

Tommy stops pacing and looks off into the sound booth. Turning around he sees Jude standing with her hands on her hips, daring Tommy to lie. Laughing he shakes his head. Because Jude is full of contradictions. One second she's crying, ready to crumble and the next she looks like she's ready to fight. "I said." Tommy says stepping closer to her. "That I love you."

Jude gives Tommy a surprised look and then she starts laughing. "Tommy I'm serious! What did you say?" Jude says lightly pushing his shoulder.

"Jude. I love you." Tommy says.

"You're just saying that because of everything that's happened." Jude says shaking her head and turning to pick up her notebook. "And thanks for the thought, but you don't mean it."

Letting out a little growl Tommy grabs Jude's arm and turns her around. "I'm not telling you I love you because of everything that's happened. I'm not telling you I love you to make you feel better. And I'm sure as hell not telling you I love you because I feel like it. I'm telling you I love you because. I. Love. You."

Jude just sits there a little speechless. She doesn't know what to say. For over two years she has waited for Tommy to come to his senses. And now, he finally does. "Tommy…" Jude says a little afraid.

Tommy lets out the breath he didn't know he had been holding and he feels his heart deflate a little bit. Because Jude isn't saying I love you too. "Jude. It's ok. I understand." Tommy says pushing his chair in and turning to leave. "I'm just going to go and I'll be back in a little bit to start recording." Tommy says holding up his hand to stop her form speaking. "It's fine Jude. I understand."

"Understand what Tommy?" Jude asks grabbing his arm to stop him, but it doesn't do anything. He just keeps going. Watching him walk away Jude thinks about every other time this has happened. And she's always given up and let him go. She has always been afraid that if she told him his feeling that he would run. Well he's running now and she hasn't told him her feelings. And before she knows what she's doing she's closing her eyes and shouting. "I love you too!" Opening her eyes Jude sees that Tommy has stopped walking, but hasn't turned around.

"Jude. Thanks, but you don't have to." Tommy says slowly turning to look at her.

"I know I don't have to. I want to. Because I do. I have for a long time. I've just been to afraid to tell you." Jude says taking a step closer. "Because I didn't know how you felt about me."

Tommy just lightly laughs. "Well I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to scare you away." Then he takes a step closer.

Jude takes one last step and puts her arms around Tommy's neck. "So we both love each other and have for awhile, but neither of us wanted to tell the other because we were afraid?" Jude asks.

Smiling Tommy nods his head. Putting his arms around her waist.

"We're quite a pair." Jude says smiling.

Then leaning forward Tommy meets her half way as they kiss. At first it's light and tentative. But soon it's full of passion and love that they've been missing for a long time. Pulling back Tommy looks into Jude's eyes and sees that they're sparkling and light. Smiling he leans in for another kiss and isn't disappointed when she kissed him back.

Kwest walks into Studio C wondering what's going on and is surprised to see Tommy and Jude standing in the middle of the studio kissing. Quietly shutting the door Kwest has a big smile on his face walking back into the lobby. Walking up to Sadie's desk he waits till she gets off the phone.

When she gets off the phone Sadie can't help but smile seeing Kwest with a smile on his face. "So either they've killed each other or…"

"Lets just say we're going to have to keep our eyes on those two while in the studio from now on." Kwest says trying not to laugh.Ok.

**So I've finally finished!! Again! LoL…I hope you all enjoyed the story and all the twist and turns I've written. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and kept reading my story. And a very special thanks to those who reviewed. There are so many of you I don't know where to start and I don't want to miss anyone so I'm just going to say thank you to everyone who reviewed!!! You guys are the best and your rock! If it wasn't for you this story would be nothing. SO thanks and again I hope you guys enjoyed reading and this last chapter wasn't disappointing!**

**Peace and Love:**

**Jesi**


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